Hectic Happy Holidays!

Well I am not sure how long it has been since I have updated here but here goes nothing, hang on, sit tight and try to make sense of the chaotic post! Just to give you an idea of how hectic are holiday are, we start holiday celebrations the weekend before Thanksgiving and we are done the weekend of New Years Eve! For 8 straight weeks we are on the go and out of town, January 7th is our first free weekend and I cant wait to sit in my jammies all day and relax at home.

Now an update on the kiddos:
Jonathan, our oldest foster kiddo left on December 2nd to a relative adoptive placement. It was a bittersweet thing, he was excited to go but I am not 100% convinced it was the best thing for him. Only time will tell. We have asked for updates with no response so, no I don't know how he is doing.

Then we were left with just Michael and Biscuit...the house was so quiet for 2 very long weeks!

On December 15th, we were blessed with two more precious boys! Isaac 3 months old and Fabian 2 years old. They made such an impact in my life. Isaac's little arm was broken and Fabian could not speak one word. I freshened up on my Spanish and Sign Language, thinking maybe he just couldn't understand me, but nope, he just looked at me like I was so silly! Isaac and Fabo's stay was very short, they went to their grandparents just 6 short days after arriving at our house! The reunification was so sweet, Fabo was so excited to see them and they were extremely thankful to us for protecting and loving them. These two were really hard to let go, I still cry when I think about them. Jeremy's grandma got Isaac a 'First Christmas Bear' and when I opened it I cried like a baby!

Isaac is a beautiful baby boy that could laugh until he had tears!

Fabo- he is a little sweetheart and his precious little smile got me every time!

My sister got me the most beautiful frame with all my kiddos in it with the words "Every Child Deserves...a Mother's Love"(picture is at the bottom of the post)--anyways I cried like a baby over this too!

Less than 24 hours after we returned the boys to their grandparents, our CM called with 3 more kiddos. We weren't sure if CPS and/or licensing would approve us but we said YES! Yes to THREE more kids, yikes! With our planned trip out of state we could not get court approval to take them with us so everyone agreed that waiting until we got back would be a better option, that being said-Serenity 2, Braylynn 18 mo, and Brett 4 mo, will be arriving at the Kirk house on January 5th! They all live in separate foster homes right now and they will all be together again. We still have Michael and Biscuit, so yes that makes 5 kids in the Kirk household and we couldn't be more excited, anxious, nervous and scared! We are in Colorado right now and are so anxious to get home to prepare the house and get all the beds, cribs, diapers (5 kids in diapers), clothes and girl stuff gathered up and then we sit and wait for them to come home!

We go to court on January 24th and hopefully the judge will give us the go ahead to proceed with the adoption of Michael and Biscuit! Say a prayer for them please!

Here's some pictures from when Santa came! The boys must have been really good!

All Smiles :)

Some of the most important people in our lives- Aunt Shannan, Uncle Dewey and Braden!

Dublin Dr. Pepper Museum. The boys loved be "grown ups" and the kid table!

Braden (nephew), Biscuit, Jonathan and Michael at Daddy's last football game of the season!

Last football game until next year!

choices, moves, decisions, and Faith!

Well its been along time since I have updated the blog and alot has changed in our lives! Some good, some bad, some fun, some sad! I'll save the best for last--so for Jeremy and I, we have had lots of things to celebrate! We just passed our 7 year mark. We started dating 7 years ago, November 15th, its crazy that we have been together for 7 years!! Jeremy passed his teaching certificate test on Saturday and Santo ISD has offered him a job. He is not for sure that he is going to take it because there is a few jobs closer to home that will be opening up soon.

Michael and Christopher- Theres not much of an update on these two handsome boys. We are switching doctors to try and figure out whats going on with Biscuits eating/swalling problems. We are getting the run around and I cant wait until he will feel better. Neither of the fathers in their cases have came forward-there was a meeting set up with Biscuits father but he did not show up to the meeting. The adoption seems to be getting closer and closer- the permancy plan has officially been changed to "Adoption by non-relative placements"..whoo hoo!!

Jonathan- Well it hasnt been so good with J. He will be moving to his new families home sometime in December. He will be moving in with his biological aunt and her family. They have 2 kids, 13 and 4 and one on the way! I continue to pray that the family that Jonathan will be living with forever is the best for him. We all know how foster care system works and there is always a possiblity of the move not going through but as of right now I think it would be in J's best interest to move sooner rather than later! The good part about this very difficult move is that it has really opened our eyes and hearts to keep fostering. Our plan was to adopt the three boys and be done, but after J moves on then I think it will be easier. Surely the first one is the hardest, its all brand new so I do not know what to expect. The second time must be easier.

We did go on the "open" list to keep fostering. We have room for 3 more kiddos. Today my casemanager told me that the closer to the holiday the more kids get put into care and the very sad reality is that most foster parents dont want to take on new kids around the holiday because it "cramps" the plans. Which yes it is true, it does cramp your plans but every child deserves a home for the holidays. Its aching my heart to know that there will be kids going to shelters this holiday season! I hope that we can give someone a family, even if temporary for Christmas. We got a call for 3 today but they were beyond our age limit, we got a call last week for a 3 week old barely weighing in at 5 lbs but she went to someone else. I told my CM today that we will take any child our license will allow and she doesnt even have to call and ask just turn our names in. I hope that we will be getting a really good Christmas present this year! :)

We are taking our family Christmas pictures Friday, first ones ever! Its really exciting but pretty emotional too! I cant wait to see how they turn out and mail them to our family. I have really learned to not take each day for granted. I have learned to put MY family first and no one else comes before them. I have been taught, tested, and tried in the last 7 months and I feel completely safe and at peace with what God is doing in our lives! Praise be to God!

Cricut!

Earlier this year my granny bought me a Cricut and I just have to say I looooove it! If your thinking about getting one, invest the money and buy one. I am working on a gorgeous project right now for my new niece and I have made lots of happy customers for my business, my very small business, I might add. I will try and post pictures tomorrow of some of my projects! :)

Goodbye Visit

I forgot to mention our last visit will be next week. It will be the official "Goodbye Visit". BM (biological mom) requested some photos of the boys. I printed some pictures off and I am going to put them in a little album for her and also let her see the Video Scrapbook that I have been creating along our journey! I am excited to show her but very nervous at the same time. Anyone have any other ideas or suggestions for the visit?

Unexpected Answered Prayers!

Wow! Time has completly gotten away from me. Its been a few weeks since my last post on here. We have been super busy. This past weekend I became lots of things all at once, mom, nurse, doctor, rocker, cook, taxi driver, laundry doer, bag packer, maid, lonely, blessed, sad, happy, excited, and so many more things. I'll start with the weekend and then back track from there. This blog is goin to be a little all over the place so if you have attention problems I apologize ahead of time! :)

Friday-My sister, Macy was nominated into the top 3 for Homecoming Queen at her high school. There is appox 260 senior girls and she was the top 3! I am so proud of her. You may not think this is a big thing because she is popular, smart, beautiful, typical "homecoming queen material", she is a member of the National Honor Society, PALS, Student Council, class officer, A Honor Roll, Cheerleading manager, Red Rythm and Blues Choir, Honors Class and thats just to name a few. Me and her well lets just say were opposite! So your proabably asking why are you so happy, or why are you surprised. Well mostly because she has Cerebral Palsey! She walks with a limp and most the time its noticeable, she can barely walk in heels but she did, all the way down the 50 yard line. She has NEVER let her dissability stop her, NEVER! She is amazing. I was so proud of her, even though she didnt win Homecoming Queen I feel like she did. She's such an inspiration. We or at least I let little things get in my way-she lets NOTHING get in her way! I love you sister!

Saturday-I spent most of the day caring for Biscuit. He was very sick and we were out of town (at homecoming festivites) and so I just babied him all day and then he got sicker and sicker-

Sunday- 10AM I decided he's had enough-I call the local walk in clinics and NONE of them take Foster Care Medicade! SERIOUSLY! So from fear that he would dehydrate before I could get him to the doctor I took him to the Emergency room. 11 very long hours later we got back to my grandparents house with no answer besides "what its not"! I have never felt so helpless in all my life, he laid there crying and screaming in pain and I couldnt fix it. It was so hard to seem him get the iv's and all the test and blood drawn. He is starting to do better today-I hope by tomorrow he will be good to go!

Monday-(here's what you been waiting on) Initial Permancy Hearing 9 AM. I get to the courtroom late..but apparantly everyone else was to because they hadnt started yet. When you go to Family Court everyone that has court that day goes and they just go case-to-case and go down they list. Well not exactly down the list much to my surprise we were last and fourth on the list! We listened to 14 CPS related cases before ours. My heart goes out to those kids. Out of all 14 we listened too, only 1 of the parents had done what she needed to do to get her kids back. At around 10:30 AM a very unexpected guest came through the courtroom doors. Michael and Christopher's mom. As my stomach sunk, and I became nauseas I closed my eyes and I prayed

"Lord, Whatever happens today give me peace that you are in control and whatever happens today I know that You have a plan for 2 amazing little boys and watch over them and this courtroom. Whatever decisions are made, please let it be in the best interest of Michael and Christopher, Amen"

I immediantly sent out a text to some friends to begin praying for the boys and for their mom and for myself. "Case Number 1B-0800-112; in the interest of Mata and Green" My nerves were shot, I was scared to death, and I thought today is the day that the judge will agree to let her have her kids back and today I will know a date when they will go home. Their mom, CPS, myself, CASA, and representatives from my agency were sworn in and the hearing had begun. It went like this:

Judge: What progress has Ms. Smith (name changed) made on her plan?
CPS: This is the first time I have seen or heard from Ms. Smith since June, she has not made any progress on her case.
Judge: Ms. Smith, do you want your kids back?
Ms. Smith: Yes I do want my kids back, I have a job and I get paid tonight and I will have enough money for a deposit on a place when I find one. But, I know the boys are right were they need to be.
-complete silence in the courtroom-
Judge: Are you saying that you want to relienquish your parental rights?
Ms. Smith: Yes, the boys will be better off in their new home.

The judge dismissed the court and we all set in shock and silence and tears rolling down our faces. WOW! God answered prayers, fast! We were dismissed and I left the courtroom and was walking down the steps of the courthouse when CPS comes running after me, "Meagan, Meagan..come back, she [biological mom] wants to talk to you." Me? Why me? Why does she want to talk to me? I agreed to talk to her. I walked in a room surrounded by 4 CPS works, 4 CASA workers, 2 sherriffs, 1 attorney and about 4-5 people standing behind a glass door watching for the hall way. Our [bio mom and mine] eyes met and we both started crying. I introduced myself and she began to sob and tell me "Thank You" over and over again. Thank me? Thank YOU! She game me a chance to be a mom, a cook, a nurse, a doctor, a taxi driver, a boo boo kisser, a laundry doer, a bag packer, a maid, to be blessed! She gave the boys a chance to have a normal life. A chance. She said things to me like:

"I will never be able to give them what you have given them the last 6 months"
"They love you"
"You can love them"
"I want them to be good people"
"You are a good person"
"I know this is best for them"

I can not begin to imagine what she must feel like. I am at a loss for words. I have thought a lot about what I would say to her if I ever got the chance to be the boys forever mom. I told her "Thank You" I told her had grateful I am that she is giving me the chance to be a mom. I promised her I would take care of the boys forever, that they have a loving family they will belong in and be a part of. I told her how unselfish she was by giving her boys a chance.

Its so strange I thought I would be jumping with joy and screaming from the rooftops but I am not, I am very excited and happy but its bittersweet. I feel so bad for her. She signed the papers at 2 pm, yesterday, September 27th.

When I saw the boys after the hearing and Michael said "Hi Mommy!" it was a totally different feeling. It was indescribable. My heart melted and I just wanted to hold them and never let them go!

Most of you may be wondering what about the dads. Well one dad is incarcarated. The other doesnt want the baby. We should be good to go and move on with the adoption by January 24th.

Thank you to all of those who have prayed and have continued to pray. Its only by God's power that we have 2 amazing boys that we will be able to call ours forever! We had cake and ice cream today to celebrate and I cant wait till we get to celebrate the Adoption Day!

Josh and Shannan's Wedding Pictures

Pictures of Shannan and Josh's wedding in Colorado. Also first time for some of the family to meet the boys. We had a great time and soooo happy the pictures are finally here!

Thanks-Aunt Shannan! Shannan and I on her big day! She was beautiful and I am so glad I got to be a part of it!

The wedding party and the bride and grooms favorite thing, VW Van!

I was behind her, helping her get her dress on. I thought this looked funny!

Not sure what I was doing here!?

She was so beautiful!

Our family and the bride and groom!

Nana Star holding Biscuit. He was so good during the wedding and the reception!

Jonathan hogging the dance floor!

All the kiddo's getting ready.

The Bride and Jonathan!

Shannan and Joshua Dewey (hints the name) and Jonathan.

What's in a name?

Well things are looking pretty good! Our chances of adopting our boys gets better and better everyday we have started thinking about names for the boys. We are changing their middles names to begin with a letter D like every other man/boy in the Kirk family! We were hoping their initials would be JDK but were not changing their first names. So thanks everyone who gave me their input on facebook! The names we have chosen are

Jonathan Dewey Kirk- when we asked Jonathan want he wanted his name to be this is what he said.
Michael Douglas Kirk- Douglas is after my grandpa
Christopher Dace Kirk - It was between Davis and Dace and we picked Dace

*Subject to change! Just thought it would be fun to have an idea!

maybe this isn't for me...

Maybe fostering isnt for us. At least long term fostering, maybe we should only do emergency or short term. Maybe I need to start praying and stop doubting..

the last 24 hours..

Wow, has it been a rough 24 hours! For those of you who dont know, I can't disclose any information, at least not right now. For those of you do know, thank you for your prayers and keep them coming, PLEASE!

So we went to court today and it was bitter sweet. Bitter-termination wasn't granted today, Sweet-We are one step closer to being done. The biomom is going to be "served papers" in the newspaper because they can not locate her anywhere and she has 45 days to respond and if she doesnt respond then termination will be granted.

We have really had an eye opener the last 24 hours and I really do not understand some people. Lesssons learned, you can not trust anyone and its so hard because I want to trust everyone, I believe for some reason that everyone is using their coinscience and/or brain, but apparantly not. I love my sons more than anything in the world and I am appalled that anyone would think anything less than that. I love my boys and so does my very Godly husband and I hope that we have instilled the Truth, Gods love, our love, and what a family should be like in their minds and hearts.

Thank you Lord for blessing me, an undesrving, unworthy person with three absolutley amazing foster children that I pray someday we will be able to say "Welcome Home" babies. Thank you Lord for giving me one more day with these children. Amen.

more good news...and venting!

Ok so I am saving the venting for last because I know you only want to read the good news.

So today our CM came for her monthly visit with GREAT news! Michael and Christopher's CW (Jo) is going to request that their permanency goal be changed to TERMINATION!! I am so excited but I can't believe it! The news is very much welcomed but very scary at the same time. Its going to be a very big next seven days for us. On Wednesday we go for Jonathans termination hearing and then the Permanency Conference on Tuesday (9/7) for the little ones. Its going to be a big week here and I am not for sure that I am ready for all the emotions that is going to come the next few days. I am so thankful for some wonderful women in my life, Mary Castorena, Audrey Rosenquist, Carmen Snyder, Rebecca Sheddrick and Shannan Kirk! Thank you all for everything you do without yall I would be a mess and I would feel VERY sorry for my husband! Some of you I have only known for a very short amount of time and Rebecca, I have never even met you but feel so close to you. You listen to me complain, cry, celebrate, gripe, moan, answer my questions, and just listen. THANK YOU!

You are welcome to stop reading at this point everything below this is venting!

Ok so I am so aggravated with some of my family! A few people in particular but I am not going to mention any names, if you know me well enough and arent reading this to be nosey you will know who I am talking about! I am tired of the excuses "I dont want to get close because they might go home", "What if they leave", "I just dont want to see you hurt", "What if..."! WHO CARES! WHY DONT YOU QUIT BEING SELFISH AND THINK ABOUT YOUR CHILD and/or GRANDCHILD! What did you have to go through, were your abused, neglected, tormented, left on the curb, in the car, born with drugs in your system, lost a parent, lost both parents, lost a brother or sister, never had a bed, never had a toy, never had clean clothes, never had clothes, locked in your room, beaten, forgotten. I dont think you have an excuse! I dont even want to tell them our good news because they will say something ignorant like "I didnt want to tell you this because I know it will hurt your feelings but dont get your hopes up!" or "oh cool". Well how about this, dont get your hopes up that I am going to call you and tell you ANYTHING about MY children! You want to know?, why dont YOU ask! Whew, ok! I feel better. Now I understand they didn't sign up for this but do they understand these are my children, as badly as they may want it I am not going to have children. I am extremely confidant that God has/had a plan for the way I will/would be a mom, the way they get here doesn't matter to me and I wouldn't think it would matter to anyone else but I guess it does. I wouldn't have it any other way. I have three amazing children and could not be any luckier! I love them so much and I wish everyone else had the nerve to let themselves love them just half as much as I do, they would be blessed! I understand IF they leave it will hurt, but it wont hurt me as much as their tummies hurt when they were hungry, or they backsides hurt when they were disciplines, or their feelings hurt after being let down time and time again. There is no amount of pain that I wouldn't take to help a child, a helpless, innocent child. But again, I know that we signed up for this not our whole family, nor did we ask for their permission. So with all that being said I do not understand their position on the whole issue but I understand how their can be a difference of opinion. Well thats all I have for now...

I will update on Wednesday night and next Tuesday. Thanks for all the prayers :)

Got News?!

We got some exciting news yesterday (8/10). Jonathans CASA worker called told me she would be coming to visit and that his next permancy hearing is scheduled for September 1st at 1:00 pm! AHHHH!!! We are so excited that it might be over for him in less than one month. I am still very scared and nervous but praying that God's will is what is best for Jonathan and that we will have understanding minds and hearts if it does not turn out the way we think it should.

As for everyone else that we have told they are pretty excited but one person, and I know they just dont want to see us hurt but I am so angry, its the same family member that was not supportive in the beginning and again I dont expect everyone to understand. I signed up for fostering, not my family, not my friends, not my neighbors, me and Jeremy and I shouldnt set expectation for them but I am just going to be honest, my kids are my kids when they come through our door they are no longer labeled as foster kids nor do I want ANYONE to treat them like that! UNDERSTAND?, GOOD! Ok I am done venting now! Thanks for reading!

5th Month Court Report

We just receieved the "5th Month Court Report" in the mail. Interesting. Christopher and Michaels mom has not completed anything on her plan and CPS can not get in contact with the fathers in the case. Mother admitted to using again but tested negative in a drug test. During a home visit with CASA and the mother she reported that the house was inappropriate for children. The house had animal feces and urine and dishes that had not been washed in quite sometime, it was also very cluttered and dirty. Mom still hasnt gotten a job and/or independant housing and/or reliable transportation. She did not go to the hearing nor did either of the fathers related to the case. We were not able to go the hearing because we had a state inspection with licensing that day. Did I mention we PASSED!! Thats all the update for now. Next month is Jonathans 5th Month hearing.

August Already!!!

Wow, how time flies. Just wanted to update anyone who actually cares to read our blog! :) WARNING: This entry might sound like I am rambling!

We just had a state inspection done by licensing which I was extremely nervous about but "no concerns noted" on the report!! YEAAHH!! The man that came made the comment that I have really thought alot about. He said "Yall are the youngest foster parents I have ever dealt with, and yalls home looks great!" As bad as I want to brag and boast I am going to try not to. However, he made a very good point. Most of you probably dont know/realize that I am only 22 and my husband is only 24. We are both still going to college and my husband works a full time job, are we tired?, yes. Do we love our life?, absoultely! We are very young and I hope that we are not judged for that reason. I feel like we manage our home, life, church, and family very well. I praise God for that. I am so thankful that God put my husband and I together because He knew that we would make a great team. I am so thankful for my husband and I feel guilty that I dont tell him or show him enough. We are coming up on our 3rd anniversary next week but it feels like forever, I dont remember much about life without him. November will mark the beginning of the dreaded 7 year "itch" but I am so excited to be one year farther in our relationship! We began dating in November of 2003 for those of you who didnt know! :) (Yes, I was 15)

Now for what you came to read: THE BOYS!
All 3 boys are doing great and we are waiting to add another addition to the family. Yes we might sound crazy but we are soooo excited. One of the bio moms from our children is pregnant and she is due in November. We are kinda stuck because we dont know if we should hold out until November *if* the new baby is placed into care if or if we should take another child before then! We are not really interested in having FIVE!!! haha! Reguardless we are waiting for either another placement or until November.

Christopher and Michael:
They have only had the 2 visits that were in June and their bio mom has been a "no-call no-show" every Friday since then. Their caseworker (CW) has cancelled the visits on my end but the bio mom doesnt know that, so if she was to show up at the CPS office me and the boys would go meet her there, BUT she hasnt came and has not expressed any interested in keeping a realtionship with them. Christopher is 9 months old now and we have had him more of his life than his mom. There was a court hearing on Monday, which lasted about 30 seconds and CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) expressed how great the boys are doing and how she has major concerns with them returning home. None of the parents went to the hearing, which isnt a very good sign. Michael is doing great and we are about to start speech therapy, that I think will help alot. He talks all the time and Jeremy and I can understand him but no one else can, he will learn how to articulate his words more clearly and hopefully learn how to use and control his tongue. (no pun intended) Christopher is rolling over, sitting up and standing with something to hold on too. I think he will be walking before he crawls, if he crawls!

Jonathan:
He is doing great! He is registered to start school and he is very excited to be going to "big boy" school. He is also going to start soccer next month! He asked me everyday if he can go play with his team. I hope he likes it when he actually starts playing as much as he likes talking about. Jonathans mom has come to one visit in early June. She will call and set them up frequently but has not followed through with attending the visit. (Another good thing for us and him) He got to fly to Colorado with me in July and loved it. When we boarded the plane, he yells "MOMMY, DID YOU BRING THE BULLETS SO WE CAN SHOOT THE BAD GUYS", I was so nervous we were about to be stuck in the airport and booted from the plane but I guess no one important heard, thank goodness! I have no idea where he comes up with stuff like that but its the imagination of a 4 year old I suppose. He also had a birthday in July and after both birthday parties he manage to get about 50 presents all together! I think he had a pretty good birthday!

Thats about all for now, I am going to try and post the video and if it doesnt work I will post some pictures instead!

Thanks for reading! :)

I was reading one of my cousins blog today and she made a very interesting point. She was watching some "expert" on TV and she said instead of saying "I dont have time" you should say "Its not a priority". If that rubs you the wrong way then maybe you should reprioritize whats important to you.

For instance:
Your child says "Mommy, can you read this book to me?"
You say "I dont have time right now" -replace that with "Its not a priority"

-think about it. Reprioritize?

She also brought up an interesting point. Do this with money? Just a thought to ponder on. Thought it was pretty smart so I wanted to share! Thanks Meghan!

April 12, 2010- July 12, 2010

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnDYY0i5u_U

Here is an updated Video Scrapbook! Enjoy! :)

busy busy busy...

Well we finally finished VBS at church this past week, got moved into our new house this week and tomorrow we leave for church camp for 6 days! We get home Friday and then Jonathan has a birthday party in Abilene on Saturday, then come back home and have another one on Sunday (his actual birthday) and then register Jonathan for school on Monday, Tuesday we get to wash clothes and pack again because me, Jonathan and Christopher are flying to Colorado on Wednesday! Jeremy and Michael are driving up on Thursday morning. Jeremys brother and fiance are getting married Saturday then we head back home on Sunday! I can not wait until July 20th, I might just hire a sitter and sleep all day! :)

I am sure most of you are wanting an update on the boys :) Michael and Christopher have been having weekly visits with their mom. The first one was sooooo hard for me and I was sick to my stomache all week just thinking about it, I dont know why?!, they did fine! Michael was very upset when he had to go back to the visiting room but he got over that pretty quick when he saw the toys. Christopher is just to young to understand. They have had visits the last 3 weeks, which their mom has not showed up for all of them. Jonathan has had one visit with his mom, and it went ok, he has alot of anger built up inside him and I am hoping we can work on that and teach him how to express it the right way and not in the forms of tantrums or acting out. I am sure this will come better with time. For the most part I just love them every chance I get. We are leaving them for a week while we are at church camp and I am very nervous about how they will react but I hope they will be ok and I hope they know we are "coming back". I was explaining to Jonathan that mommy and daddy are leaving for a week and he replied "Mommy, are you gonna come back?" It was a sad moment but a rewarding one at the same time, yes I am coming back and no I am not going to let you down! I love being a foster parent and wouldn't trade it for the world.

Thats about all for now and I wont be updating until the end of the month probably.. we are going to be busy busy busy!

July 4th

We barely made it to the parade this morning. A tree fell on a transformer and blew all the electricity for our whole block for 3 hours this morning, but needless to say we made it! The boys had a blast after they figured out why people were driving by throwing candy on them. I cant help but to brag..they are sooo cute! :) Jonathan and Michael
Christopher and Mommy

Texas Rangers

Here are a few pictures from the boys first Texas Rangers Baseball game. They had so much fun but was a little disappointed because they didnt get to catch a ball. It was 107 degrees outside, so a nice security gaurd let us go to the private party area so the boys could be in the shade and have some room to run around! Michael
Family Picture :)

Christopher

Jonathan

Visit...

Well she showed up and all went ok I guess. Christopher had a bottle and wasnt supposed to (dr. orders). Michael screamed and cried and kicked and cried and screamed and kicked when they came ang got him from the waiting room. I guess they did ok during the visit. Some lady told me hes been crying the whole time, talking about Christopher. :( The CW did have to go pick her up and she was in her pajama's so I think she probably was planning on coming and CW knocked on the door and surprise she came. I kind of wish they wouldnt do that and they would actually make the parent work to get her kids back. I would have woke up at 4 am and started walking if I didnt have a way to get there, but I wouldnt be in the situation period so I guess I will never be in that position.


Jonathans CW called this morning to tell me her visit was cancelled. I dont see her coming around anytime soon, but we will see.

I pray that God's will be done in both situations and all situations that we will come to in the foster care system. When we move to a bigger house we will be available to take 2 more children and we are contemplating, and praying what we will do. I know if a child needs a home and I can provide for them then I am sure we will not turn them away. Thanks for all the prayers today! :)

Tomorrow, Friday June 18th

Tomorrow is a big day in the Kirk household.

Michael and Christopher have a supervised visit with their biological mom tomorrow morning at 8:00 am. This is the first attempt she has made to see them in 3 months. Please pray for security for the boys, we will be having our repite worker, that is very close to the boys take them to the visit. Please pray for peace and understanding. Christopher wont have a clue what is going on but Michael I am afraid will be very confused at the whole situation. I am nervous for him. I am nervous for both of them. The bio mom has not seen Christopher since he was 3 months old, she does not and will not know what his cries mean, when hes tired, hungry, or what he wants. I am thankful they are supervised and I will be waiting in my car right around the corner! The boys CASA worker is also coming tomorrow afternoon. She is the court appointed advocate for the children, whatever she says goes as far as permancy for the kiddos!

Jonathan will also be having a visit with his biological mom tomorrow at 2 pm. It is right in the middle of his nap time so I am praying that he is not to wild at his visit. It is also supervised and I will not be there. I hope that he understands. This will be the third no call no show if she doesnt show up tomorrow.

Please pray for security, peace, understanding, and the will to follow through with everything related to foster care.

I know this is our first visit and I hope its the hardest! Thank you in advance for your prayers, and I will update tomorrow evening and let everyone know how they went. :)

Kids say the darnest things!

Well I need to update for all of you who follow and wanted to enlighten you on some of the things my kids say! :)

Well none of the boys have had visits yet and its bitter sweet really. I think its sad for them and their parents that they dont get to see each other, but at the same time I think its great because they are not having to go through the confusing visits and everything that goes on with all the transition back and forth. They are all doing really good, they are really really enjoying the new church and mommy staying at home and so am I. I love being at home with them and being able to spend all day with them. We are moving to a bigger house at the end of the month, we sign the new lease tomorrow. I will post pictures as sooooon as we move in! Its alot bigger with an extra bedroom and bathroom. Now for the funny things that my boys have said over the last few days..

Michael:
-Daddy, I want a nack NOW! (Jeremy: What do you say?) Daddy, I want a nack NOW please!
-yawyeepop yawyepop o yawyee yawyeepop boom boom boom yawyeepop! (tune to the Dell commercial)
-What a might ponge bob pants we serve, what a mighty ...... (What a might God we serve)
-I wea I wea I wea bobo pants. (Dockers underwear commercial, I wear I wear I wear no pants)
-I need to eat!
-TOP IT! (stop it)
-I need to go poop! (after he already pooped)

Jonathan:
-Daddy, not want to hear about it Michael! (as Michael was coming to tattle on Jonathan for who knows what!)
-I want balloons for my birthday!
-Is that lady sad mommy? (Me: I dont know) I bet her husband left her mommy! :(
-(Me: Jonathan, who gave you that toy?) That fat lady over there! --oh my was I embarrased!
-Why hims crying mommy? (talking about Christopher)
-The baby has applesauce on his tummy mommy. (spit up everywhere!)

Christopher:
He can roll over now!! Were so proud of him! :)

Thats about all for now, hope you enjoy the pictures on the previous blog.

First pics with all three boys!

http://www.myonlineportraits.com/ViewSharedAlbum.aspx?ShareID=b7985f48-22cd-4681-9626-e128de38ff39

its been awhile...

Just thought I would update everyone on life, its been awhile since I updated on here. We just got a new house and we will be moving the middle of July. It is a 3 bedroom, 2 bath and almost double in sq foot so there is much much more room, which I am thrilled about.

I put my resignation in at the nursing home I was working at and my last day there will be June 15th. I get to stay home with the boys! :)

Jeremy was offered a new position at a church here in Stephenville and we accepted the position and couldnt be happier. The boys have an actual nursery with more than themselves in it and I am not in there taking care of them. I had stopped going to church because it was pointless to get the boys up and dressed to go to church to sit in the nursery with them, I can do that in their bedroom! So Jeremy has an office now, the boys have a nursery and I get to go to sunday school and church. The church is also 4 miles from our house instead of 25 miles!

The boys are doing great and getting along so well. They all have adjusted so good and we love them so much. They are so funny and fun to be around. I cant wait till I get to stay at home with them everyday!

My sister is here visiting this week and we went to Splashville yesterday and took them swimming for the first time and it was a blast, they loved the water.

The boys are enrolled for Head Start stating in August and I was officially accepted to Tarleton and will start in August. I have 3 semesters left and thought I might as well do it now! Better sooner than later, right?! Jeremy will graduate May 14, 2011 and myself the following December, hopefully! I have class from 8-noon and the boys will be in Head Start from 7:30 to 1:30 so that gives me a little study time each day.

Thats about all the news for now and maybe I have caught everyone up. I will post new pics soon, I know thats what everyone wants to see! hehe! Time to start lunch...

Jonathan

Well Jonathan has adjusted very well. It is so hard to believe that we havent even had him a week yet. He just seems like a natural part of our family and fits in so great. He is calling us Mommy and Daddy and his biological mom, which is still a big part of his life, is "Special Mommy". MiMi is still a part of his life and ours now too! I feel like I have known her forever and feel like she is my biggest supporter. She is great and she loves Jonathan so much and he is so lucky to have such a great foster mom the first 3 years of his life. We all went to Ft. Worth this past Saturday, whew was that a trip on mommy! We went to Chuck E Cheese and did some shopping. I got the boys matching Rangers jersey's (pics to come soon). Michael is adjusting really well to having a big brother too. It is strange having someone from another family in ours now. A whole new set of caseworkers, paperwork, family, friends, and ALOT more laundry! I thought since there clothes are small that there wouldnt seem like so much but its way more than 3x's the clothes. We are going to meet another MiMi (my mom) tomorrow and make a trip to Abilene. We will see how he adjust with more family to meet. He is very attached to me, which I am surprised since he has a mom and she is active in his life, but oh well what are you supposed to do. I love them all so much and feel like I have known him forever. If God allows it I would love to be with him forever.

We are also looking forward to our trip to Colorado, so that all the boys can meet Jeremy's family. We are going there for my best friends wedding (she is marrying my brother in law) and so we will be spending a week in Denver. I am already planning on taking the boys to Coors Field and to Denver Children's Museum.

Well thats about all for now, I hope you all enjoy the pictures. I will post more next week after the Jonathan gets to meet my mom. :)

Some new pics of our first weekend together :)

Michael (R) and Jonathan (L) in their matching PJ's!

PaPa Doug (this is my grandpa) and Jonathan on a boat ride and the boys' first trip to the lake!

He was so happy when Papa Doug let him drive the boat.

Michael, Jonathan, and Christopher on the step in front of our church.

Jonathan at Olive Garden, man does he like Mac N Cheese.

SO BLESSED!

Well today was our first day with all the boys together. We had a GREAT day! We played around the house most of the day and then we went to Daddy's softball game, then Jonathan wanted to go to McDonalds and guess what we did! :) We bought Jonathan a Rangers shirt so he can match the boys tomorrow for our trip to Ft. Worth. We are going to do a little shopping and enjoy a family day! Tonight Jonathan got his Bible out and opened it and said "God made the moon and the..." and Michael just in time said "...and the stars and the sun." Wow I am making an impact on the boys! I always wanted to be a Godly mom and now I have proof. We have read that story about 4 times in the last 24 hours and they remembers it. I let the boys pick out a book before nap time and before bedtime and they always pick out their Bible. :) Also, Jonathan said "I love you too" tonight when I put them to bed. God has blessed me so much with three beautiful boys and and great husband. When I get to put the boys to bed, no matter how tired I am, it always warms my soul. We are planning on going to Chuck E Cheese's tomorrow and I hope that the boys enjoy it. I know I may never know what it is like to have biological children but I hope that everyone understand that I love them so much already and I wouldnt change it for the world. I know it is not the same for our family as having biological children but they are the same to us. God has blessed me so much, I am so thankful that He has healed my pain from infertility and is using me in three little lives! I just wish I could put into words how I really feel, but it is indescribable. Thank you Lord for everything you have given me!

My 3 Boys!

Me and my 3 boys! :) This was the first day with all three of them. Happy baby Christopher!

Michael telling mommy to "Go up the stairs" at the park!

Big brother Jonathon and little brother Michael!

Jonathan (aka Big Brother J)

Here are a few pics of Jonathan on his first day with our family. He misses MiMi alot and I hope he adjust well over the weekend. Visits' are going to be tough I have a feeling but I hope he will learn to trust us and love us. After our night time prayers and tucking them into bed, I said "Goodnight boy, I love you" and he replied, "I dont love you, yet." It hurt my heart that a three year old would even have the mind to say that. "YET" can be taken many ways and I am taking it as I will but I dont trust you enough to know that Ilove you. I hope he will learn to love us as we love him. We are going to see MiMi next week if he adjust well over the next 4-5 days.

He loves taking pictures of everything with my camera, and for 3 he is really good at it! Sleeping in his new bed. Jonathan's first night in his new home.
The boys' new bed we bought today!

Jonathon playing with his trucks waiting on dinner to be ready!

prayers please..

I want to ask everyone that reads this to take a moment and say a quick prayer for the Castorena family, Jonathons former foster family. They have had Jonathon for 3 years, his entire life, and tomorrow he will be moving to our home. As excited I am, my heart is aching for Mary, former foster mom. I have had the priveledge to meet with her and Jonathon together to talk about what is best for Jonathon and she truly wants what is best for him. I hope that we can give the life that he deserves and the life that she hopes for him. Mary and her husband are still going to be MiMi and Papa and are going to remain active in Jonathons life. This blog is short and sweet, so in the time it took for you to read this just say a quick prayer please. Lift up their spirits and allow God to show them that the love they gave Jonathon the last 3 years will not be forgotten.

3 under 3!

Well we will be adding one more set of feet to our home on Thursday! A 3 year old little boy named Johnathon. His current foster home is retiring due to age and they want an adoptive minded home for the little guy. Me and the boys are going to be meeting him today at the Jumping House to hopefully making the transition a little smoother. He has been in foster care for 3 years, since the day he was born and in the same home, so they are going to be involved and be "grandparents". I am really excited about it because ironically we lived next door to the foster mom's son and daughter in law for a few years. So God had a plan for us, them, and Johnathon and we have already seen some of it :) Pictures will be coming on Thursday. I am also updating the video scrapbook so it should have some more pictures on it soon!

Video Scrapbook

I created this video scrapbook and made it so that I can add pictures in at any time. I am going to make both boys scrapbooks but this will be a neat way to keep up with pics and "Firsts" without it being all over the kitchen table :) Hope you enjoy and the video is posted below!

new hair cut!

the last 18 days..

I thought it would be fun to share with you a little bit about the last 2 1/2 weeks of our lives.

The boys had their first wellness check up and the doc's and nurse were in complete shock that they boys were so clean. The doc even said "They dont even smell!" :) It feels good to know that we are giving them a good home and that people do appreciate the love we pour into the boys. Michael had an appt with and ENT doctor and he had to get tubes put in his ears the end of May :(, but I am sure it will be fine and he will feel much better. Christopher almost rolled over yesterday and he sat up all by himself for about 2 minutes today (pic below)! Michael got his "first" haircut tonight. He looks all grown up :( I dont want him to grow up EVER! (pics below) We are going to have a relaxing weekend at home and then we have dentist appt's next week!

The boys are a pure joy! We love them so much and are so thankful for the oppurtunity to get to love them. I love it when Michaels little arms coming racing toward me when I come home from work and I love it when Christopher smiles at me when I make funny faces, it dissolves all your worries and frustrations!

These are some words Michael knew when he came to us and words he has learned. I will leave it to you to figure out which ones he already knew. ***Warning, some are not very nice*** :(

I love you too

• Shitty


• Ca-Ca (sp?-Spanish word for poop)






• Amen






• Sippy






• Ponchy (our dog)


• Jesus Book (Bible)
• Goat
• Nana
• Papa



• Call papa



• Mama



• Dada
  
• I need you now (after repeating Mama over and over again)
• Done
  
• More (and sign)
  
• Please (and sign)
  
• Bye
  
• Thank You (and sign)
  
• Later Gator
  
• Boobies
  
• MiMi
  
• Daddy home?
  
• Baby crying
  
• "...because I just dont"


• Now


• No
• Mine
  

Some of the things that Christopher has learned to do since he has been with us:

• Hold his head up all alone
• Sit up
• Turns to the sound of our voices
• Eat baby food
• Laugh
• He s very tickleish
• Won his Daddy's heart over

I hope that you enjoyed some of that! It has been so neat to watch the boys grow and develop just in the last 2 weeks! Here are a few pics from the last few days and a few pics of "first times".

Thanks everyone who reads my blog :)

diapers, docs, and pictures!

Well our dr appt with Michael's ENT went fairly well. I was hoping that they would say his ears looked great and wouldn't need tubes, BUT we have to get tubes on May 25th! :( I am not to excited about it, but who would be!? After his dr. appt we went to Wal Mart and had the boys pics made and then a fellow foster mom who takes pictures offered to take their pics in the bluebonnets. I will be posting them up when she emails me some of them. THANKS CARMEN! :)

Christopher has changed so much in the last two weeks! He has learned how to hold his bottle and pull his passy out of his mouth. He is lifting his head up while laying on his tummy. We got him a Tummy Time play mat and I think it will help alot. We are going to get him an exersaucer soon, which will help with muscle tone.

Also we have decided to give cloth diapers a try. They are great for the enviorment, save tons of money, and are not the same ol cloth diapers that you are probably thinking of! If your interested in reading more about them go to www.fuzzibunz.com There is alot of great info on there. We ordered one Nappy and 3 Fuzzi Bunz and cant wait to get them in and try them out!

I am starting to wear down, after 2 weeks of 5 hour nights I can tell my body is wearing down. I am going to bed early tonight. Jeremy is taking care of Christopher and Michael is in the bath then me and Michael are going to bed. :) Cant wait to watch a movie with my lil man!

support system..or lack of!

This is just me venting a little bit, remember I am sleep deprived, emotional, and a new mom of 2! I am surprised at the lack of support that some of the family has given us through our new journey as parents. I wonder if it would have been the same response had we had a biological child. I would hope not but I guess I will never know. I feel like we were meant to be foster parents of these two precious boys and if they go back I count the days that they were in a clean safe enviroment and if they stay forever, praise GOD! I love them so much as if they were my own, maybe that is why I am surprised at some of the families reaction. It is not a negative reaction just different then what I had expected. Oh well I am very happy and I know that my family will come around in time, or maybe not, they might not ever realize the joy that comes with fostering and thats ok. It is not for everyone.

I want to say a special thank you to all my foster mommy friends and to "super nanny" and to my best friend/soon to be sister in law! Thank you so much for your support and getting me through day to day!

Our first weekend together!

Granny Jo and Pa came to meet the newest members of the family! Christopher and Michael make her a Great Grandmother!
Rangers fans!

Watching some baseball. Christopher was cheering them on with his jersey!
Brothers! :)

Our two boys and our best friends son. Christopher and Cooper are 3 weeks apart!

First breathing treatment! It was so sad but he did really great and hopefully feels better too!

Well we had a great first weekend together. Saturday Granny and Pa came to meet the boys and they bought them all kinds of stuff. Michael loves Pa and they were attached at the hip. On Sunday we went to church for the first time and Daddy forgot to pack a bottle so we didnt make it all the way through church! Conversation went like this, "I told you to pack the diaper bag," "I did I packed diapers and wipes!" Haha, he learned his lesson and felt soooo bad for poor screaming Christopher. We made it home though and got his bottle fast! We went to Fort Worth and bought the boys just about everything else we needed. I got Michael his formula for $7 a can, regulary $19.98! I was proud of it! Here are some pictures from this weekend! Enjoy! :)