Reviewing the play!

Sorry team, I haven't been very good at posting! Christmas time is crazy at our house. We have 7 Christmas celebration and we've probably driven over 500 miles, were finally back home, tree is down, laundry is [getting] caught up and momma is ready for school to be back in session! 

I had no idea how many people would even take the time to read my lousy written blog and who it would impact, those of you who read it and even the one who read it from the very beginning I just want to say thank you! Thank you for sharing your response with me, it means so much to me that our lives make some kind of positive impact on just one person. 

One of our major updates is with Jay and he is doing great! He started a new medication and while we cant tell much of a difference at home its working at school which is where he struggles the most. I have seen a huge difference in his behaviors at home and the way we parent him has changed dramatically as well. I finally can see the light at the end of the tunnel. We feel like our very hard time being there was so worth and were so happy with the progress he continues to make everyday. He will continue therapy once a week and see his regular doctor every 3 months for follow ups. He is enjoying school, family time, friends and he has even been the water boy for the basketball team a couple of times.  

Michael is doing pretty good. He is struggling in school and he has started occupational and physical therapy 2 times per week through the school. [which I am so grateful for] We have a follow up on the 13th with his neurologist and hopefully we can get some insight as to whats going on with his development. He enjoyed Christmas so much and just couldnt believe all the present he got! 

Biscuit..ooohh Biscuit. He is a character, always has been, always will be! He is enjoying riding the bus with the basketball team and daddy. He is wrapped around his daddy's finger. He has a new friend, Clara Grace, that I have been watching over Christmas break and they have really hit it off, he loves having someone his age/size to play with! 

Jaxon has learned so much lately! He has learned to wave and to blow kisses! I love when he learns new things and imitates us! He is at such a fun age! The boys sure have loved spending time together during Christmas break and this momma could get used to have everyone home all day too [mainly daddy]! 

Now you may be wondering why the title to this post is "Reviewing the play!" well.. here goes nothing. Laying my heart out there for everyone to judge [human nature, its ok, I understand] but we know what our calling is and we have faith that the Lord will provide all things we need, including patience! So here it goes, you may want to grab a cup of coffee and put on your comfy pants!------- December 18th I got a phone call from a DFW number and I answered it expecting it to be the hospital/doctor, boy was I wrong. A young sobbing mom was on the other end, Jay's biological mom, R. I just knew something bad had happened, she proceeded to beg me to take her other two children, T1 (a three year old boy) and T2 (an 18 month old GIRL!!!!) so that they wouldn't go into foster care. When we adopted our children we promised to ourselves and the boys that we would do whatever we could to protect their (the boys) brothers and/or sisters when and if the time ever came--well the time is here--I made a quick call to Jeremy to see what he thought and his response was "what time do we pick them up?" By this time CPS CW (caseworker) had calls with the very few details she could share with me. We say yes and she says "I will call you in a bit to tell you what time to get the kids."... and.... we...wait... we try to gather things, like beds, and clothes, car seats, toys, etc. She finally calls back, CPS decided to place them elsewhere, in a foster home. We were shocked and dumbfounded. CPS's goal is to keep kids out of foster care and we were willing to take them, why aren't they coming home with us!?! We will never know. 

Fast Forward to today! 

Another DFW phone number pops up--I barely recognize it, I answer. "Mrs. Kirk, this is Tina from CPS" umm yes maam?- Well the kids court hearing was today and the judge has decided that we could take the children as a kinship placement, wait, what?!? oh em gee! So we said yes AGAIN and now we wait on CPS to come do a home study with us and then they will move the kids to our house. We will hopefully know more details in 1-2 more weeks. For now, we pray, a lot, and start getting bows, beds, toys, and new clothes for the little ones that don't have much! 

We know people are going to think "its too much for them" or "they should focus on the kids they have" or "I don't know how they can do that" or "they are going to overwhelm themselves" and I understand all those concerns and comments but unless you have walked in our shoes please just consider supporting us instead of criticizing our choices. I know it may seem "impossible" or "stupid" to some but when your doing what God calls you to do, He makes a way of making things a lot easier than they appear to be to everyone else. Now that its all out there feel free to judge us or support us, either way I know it will be in love and I do not expect everyone to understand and that is ok, that's why were all called to do something different.  

Life doesnt stop when the seasons over!

This post may be all over the place as they usually are. My mind is constantly going from all the kids and husbands activities and I always think we will catch a break when whatever season were in is over but it doesn't stop there..life keeps going and the next season starts. Its a whirlwind life but I do love it, most of the time!

We ended our football season with a 14-13 loss to Goldthwaite who we also lost to in regular season 23-20. It was bitter sweet! Our boys {the football team}were tired and they were ready for a break but how sweet it would've been to beat those Eagles in post season. This was a great season for the Bearcats and our family. Jeremy has developed several really good relationship with some of the seniors this year. There's one in particular that our whole family has bonded with. He loves our boys and we love him. He comes over for dinner and makes him self at home, even though he thinks he's just "eating pizza at Coach's house" he has no idea what a blessing he has been to our family and to our boys! Another bittersweet part of Jeremy's job, we build such bonds with the boys and then they go off and graduate but the sweet part, we will get to do it all again next year! And the senior moms--man I cant even tell you how great they are, from providing meals to the team and coaches to jumping my car in the freezing rain after driving home from the out of town game to feeding my "starving" kids in the stands! The teachers and staff are just as great too! We are truly blessed to be a part of the Deleon community---Jeremy promised we wouldn't leave :)

Our nice clean crisp life gets some pretty mean grass stains and a few holes that have to be patched up ever now and then, right now were working on patching our family up. Jay, our 7 year old, has been attending a partial hospitalization program for mentally unstable children at Cook Children's Hospital. He has struggled all 4 years he has been in school and continues to act out physically. He throws books, flips his desk, wads his paper up, shuts down, pitches fits (hour long fits), picks on other kids, curses at the teachers, well you get the idea. I know your probably thinking that he needs a good "butt whoopin", and had you asked me 4 years ago I would've said the same thing! Ill just save you the time--it doesn't work, neither does taking his favorite toy away, or grounding him, reward good behaviors, or giving him extra privileges, talking to him, explaining your feelings, I promise I have tried it all. We've read books, online articles, even went to conferences and counseling. I wouldn't have spend 3 weeks away from my kids and husband had this not been a last resort.       Were slowly starting to figure our what is going on in that young innocent mind of his. He has a team that works with everyday that consist of a teacher, doctor, nurse, and licensed therapist. Hopefully were a day away from discharge and so far the team has determined that Jay is ADHD and has the inability to feel empathy for anyone else. Confusing? Let me break it down--there is a part of our brains that develop between the ages of 0-3 with the help of parent/teacher/adult interaction, Jay's brain did not develop due to his VERY young, as in 14, biological mother's lack of ability/knowledge to appropriately parent him. So what do we do now? We teach him right from wrong in a very black and white, to the point, matter of fact way. Hopefully over time he will learn what is and what is not socially acceptable. We hope to be coming home tomorrow, ARD next week and go back to school with a fresh start in January! Once again the community of Deleon has overwhelmed us with all their help with the boys, prayers, visits, and support! For anyone going through anything similar I would say--

   1. Don't blame yourself!
   2. Understand your child's brain to the best of your ability. You cant expect a child with diabetes to be able to control their blood sugar without medical help so don't expect your child with ADHD or behavior problems to be about to control their behaviors without medical help.
  3. Pray all the time and find a good support system that supports what your doing and that truly know that your doing the best you can!
 4. Its ok to admit you don't know what else to do, your not a failure as a parent and unless your a psychiatrist its not your fault you don't know what to do, its normal!

We are so excited to get home and get our Christmas decorations put up and be with our family! I cant wait to have Jaxon's first Christmas this year and celebrate our life as a complete finished family!