What is Nursing School?

The last 10 days have been the most exhausting, trying, selfish, emotional days I've had in months. I have never made my family sacrifice so much. I have never went days without talking to my boys. But the last 10 days, I have. I have spent 14, 16, 18 hours a day away from my husband and my boys. I have cried more than I'd like to admit. I have neglected my boys. I don't know what projects they've done in school. I don't even know what their grades are. I missed Jeremy's grandmothers funeral. My baby went to Cooks without me. My son has diagnosed with a 2 new conditions. We have hired, fired and had a nurse walk out. I haven't had dinner with my family. I haven't been home to tell them goodnight. They leave at 6 am and I come home at 2 am. 

Nursing School is 

not easy, 

it's a lot of tears. 

It's long nights and early mornings. 

It's not fun. 

It's missed milestones, funerals and weddings. 

It's leaving your baby while he or she is in the hospital. 

It's planning family time around exams. 

It's not exciting every day. 

It's rewarding.

It's new friendships that turn to family. 

It's more tears. 

It's not all smiles but some days are easier than others. 

It's needing people who you didn't think you needed. 

It's not needing people you thought you needed before. 

It's changing the laundry at 2 am because you need your uniform. 

It's buying an extra watch, pen light, and 32854 notecards.

It's achievements. 

It's goals. 

It's not for the faint of heart.

It's preparing you to impact lives, change lives, and save lives. 

It's Nursing School.
mk.

Jeremy has done it all. He has cooked, cleaned, signed homework, went to ARD meetings, scheduled, rescheduled and attended doctor appointments, been to baseball practice and coached Biscuits team. He does the laundry and cleans the bedrooms, grocery shops, runs to the pharmacy, all while working full time plus some. I could not have done it without him. 18+ hour days at the library would have been impossible.

My mom, aunt, and granny have helped us financially, spiritually, emotionally and has supported me from day one. My sister has listened to me vent. My friends have been understanding when I haven't been there for them. My older boys have put smiles on my face on my hardest days, brought me snacks while studying, sent me funny memes and videos singing and playing the guitar and what they don't know is, that's what kept me going everyday. From pushing me to start school to celebrate each passing test grade, they have been my motivation. One of my former students has spent hours tutoring me and celebrated my successes with me. Someone that I met just 4 months ago sitting next to me has become one of my closest friends considering I spend more time with her than anyone was in my life! Our nurses that take care of Jordan night and day and been an ear for me to vent and even those that have helped me review for test. There's been two instructors that will leave a memory in my heart forever, the ones who knew the look of defeat on my face without me saying a work and always offered an encouraging smile and the one that challenged me to always be prepared and taught me the importance of being a confidant nurse!  And there's so many more that have supported me on this journey, from the one who encouraged me to apply to the one that's held me while I've cried, some close and some across the world! For each one of you I'll be forever grateful!!

Today, I passed. I passed my first semester of nursing school. I am a senior nursing

student! I still have 7 more months to go but I feel like if I can get through the first semester I can make it to the end. I do not write all of this to "toot my own horn" but to say thank you to everyone who made this first semester a success. It wouldn't have been possible without the prayers from those closest to me, the people in my life, my supportive husband and the motivation my boys give me everyday!

Thank you to EVERYONE who made this possible!

 "God has chosen you to fulfill His purpose on Earth, and He has given you the gifts and passion to complete your mission. You don't get to choose your talents, and while these skills are yours--given to you--they are yours to share and help someone else."

 

     

Dreams becoming reality and loving without borders...

I often write about my boys, my students, my husband, our futures, our moves, medical updates, our team, and everyone else. I have had it on my heart for several months to make myself a person that I want to be. How much more vulnerable can I be, right? I know, yikes!

There is always people in our lives that make us see our true value, that make us believe in ourselves and if were not careful we miss those valuable people, we miss those lessons, we miss those words that are true and meant to make a difference in our lives. It's easy to ignore those subtle encouraging comments but take heed and believe what those that love you are speaking over you. It's hard, I know, it has taken me YEARS and there's only a couple of people that I love without borders and trust their words without apprehension. When you find that person or those people hold on to them, they love you and God orchestrated those relationships with precise meaning and purpose. If you are my person, you know it, so thank you, again.

Wife. Coach's wife. Mom of {I don't keep count anymore} Taxi Driver. Care Taker. Medical Bill Payer. Insurance Expert. Cook. Cleaner. Hiney Wiper. Therapy Scheduler. Supply Orderer. Nurse Interviewer. Homework signer. Bed Maker. Note Writer. Hug giver. Kiss receiver. Listener. Teacher. Counselor. Referee. Blogger. Game Watcher.

Nursing Student 2017

Europe Bound 2018

Yep, I am doing it for me because I deserve it. Because someone has taken the time to make me believe in myself. Because I have supported my husband to make his dreams come true and now he wants to support me to make my dreams come true. Because becoming who God has called me to be should be a priority. Because I can. Because of my boys. Because dreams do come true. Because I love without borders. That is my "because, what is your "because"?

I tell someone who I love dearly to "choose you" constantly and its such a simple phrase, a simple task, but why is it so hard for most of us?

I'm ordering books and getting my passport! Nursing school starts in August and I am Europe bound in 2018 (hopefully March if not August) to see my boys!

Jordan's Journey- The Whole Story.

So, guess what?!

IT'S OVER, IT'S FINAL, HE IS OURS FOREVER!

So with that being said so many people are asking more questions about Jordan and his history and why he is "like he is". Many adoptive parents refrain from telling their child's foster/adoption story because it's their story to tell and while that is so true I feel like its only fair to spread awareness and share his story with those that are praying daily for him, those that have donated time, money, items, oils, clothes, medical supplies and so much more to our family. If you are reading this and are an adoptive parent please know that I am not judging for not sharing your child's story. Jordan's Journey has become a part of so many peoples lives all across the world that we just want to be transparent in the journey. Thank you for supporting Jordan's Journey!

So...how did we get here? Well you can read the last entry to catch up but I will give a little more detail now that everything is final.

November 11, 2015

The unthinkable happened. Jordan suffered abuse at the hands of someone that is supposed to love and care about him more than anyone on this earth. Medical reports show that Jordan had 7 broken ribs and traumatic brain injury, TBI. He was officially diagnoses with Hypoxic Ischemic Encephalopathy, HIE, which in laymen's terms means his oxygen was cut off causing brain damage, more than likely being smothered or suffocated. Deep breath. Child abuse is real. Child abuse doesn't only happen to big kids or teenagers when their parents taking discipline to a different level. Child abuse happens to babies, to innocent 12 week old babies too. Paramedics resuscitated Jordan 2 times and again at the hospital. He was in the ICU for almost 4 weeks, during that 4 weeks we were told he most likely wasn't going to get out of the hospital. EVER. We mourned his death in a way. We had only told our closest family about him as we were unsure if we would definitely have the chance to love his baby. I remember getting the phone call and calling my best friend, she reminded me after the adoption that she remembered that day and I told her "I want THAT baby, he is mine!" and we began praying for him from that day on. Little did we know the next week the hospital would call and ask if we would still be willing to take him. We of course said yes. I told you I would be transparent, remember? I thought to myself, are we going to bring this baby home and wait for him to die? Is he going to die? What will that do to my kids? Where will we burry him, since he will be award of the state? Did I really just say yes? More prayers.  More tears and a trip to Walmart to buy a car seat and diapers. I walked in his hospital room, signed papers and the nurse briefly told me he has controlled seizures and we think he might have some vision loss. And just like that I packed him up and brought him home. This is the first picture we took of him, just a few minutes after leaving the hospital on December 2, 2015.

The next 14 months were full of ups and down. Full of meetings with teams of doctors, ER visits, close calls, ambulance rides, 911 calls, fights with CPS, investigations over and over, caseworks, case managers, court hearing, heated discussions with attorneys and lots and lots of prayers, tears were a regular thing in our house, either from Jordan or me. We learned a lot over the last 14 months. My boys learned to be flexible, they learned that we don't take one day for granted. They learned that when we pray God hears us. They learned that hospitals are a place we go to get better and that daddy does in fact know how to cook supper and can sign homework. We learned our love for each other is more than we could ever imagine. We learned that we are a team, if one of us is having a bad day they others pick up more of the work. I learned that my husband is incredible, my sons are the most amazing boys I have ever met. I learned they are selfless, they don't question when I will be home during long hospital stays but repeatedly tell me they love me and cant wait until Jordan is better. I learned who our true friends our, the ones that will keep our other boys in the middle of the night, or take off days of work to make it our big day, ones that will jump right in and fix whatever is wrong. I learned what family I can count on in a moments notice, I learned who to call when I need to cry on the way to the ER or to keep me awake following the ambulance. Most importantly I learned the strength that God gives me. Often times people ask "how do you do it?" and my reply is always the same, its not of my strength but of God's. Our family worried a lot about us being so young and taking on so much but I can honestly say God gives us the strength to do this, we don't do this life on our own. We are protected by Him. We are renewed by Him. We are loved by Him. Forever.

For now, he is fed by a G-tube, he is blind, he can not roll over, sit up or crawl. He can smile and laugh and it is glorious. He chokes on his secretions and requires suctioning. He is not able to have bowel movements on his own and we have to occasionally use a catheter to drain his bladder however we haven't done that since December! He has amazing hearing and we do believe he can see light/shadows. He wears a pulse oximeter that measures his heart rate and oxygen level and requires oxygen occasionally. He also has an apnea monitor but hasn't had an apnea episode in 3 weeks. He is immuno-compromised so you may see him with a tiny hospital mask on his face, especially in public and during cold/flu/RSV season. A simple cold will land him in the hospital with pneumonia in a matter of 24 hours. He takes 4 meds 3 times a day, breathing treatments and an inhaler, which isn't to bad for a baby with his difficulties. We spend a lot of time in the hospital.

Today, Jordan is well. Tomorrow may be a different story. He was approved today for 24 hour nursing care, which helps us so much. Many people ask us about his prognosis so here it is: Jordan will write his own story. He is on Palliative care right now, that simply means that if and when we need hospice we will transition very easily over to hospice with the same team of doctors. It also means during the time we have with him this team of doctors will stand by us and celebrate every victory and give us hope for the days, weeks and months to come. His team of doctors have told us that children with the level of brain damage he has don't usually walk or talk. Jordan will write his own story. He can say "mama" and "love you". Children with his level of damage suffer the most because his organ systems will slowly start shutting down the older he gets and his life expectancy is drastically shorter than  my healthy kids. Jordan will write his own story. Forever.

Thank you all for praying and supporting us along this journey. The journey is just beginning,

as the days grow longer, milestones, achievements, setbacks come and go we will

need your continued prayers.

We love you. --Jordan's Warriors.