Ok so I am saving the venting for last because I know you only want to read the good news.
So today our CM came for her monthly visit with GREAT news! Michael and Christopher's CW (Jo) is going to request that their permanency goal be changed to TERMINATION!! I am so excited but I can't believe it! The news is very much welcomed but very scary at the same time. Its going to be a very big next seven days for us. On Wednesday we go for Jonathans termination hearing and then the Permanency Conference on Tuesday (9/7) for the little ones. Its going to be a big week here and I am not for sure that I am ready for all the emotions that is going to come the next few days. I am so thankful for some wonderful women in my life, Mary Castorena, Audrey Rosenquist, Carmen Snyder, Rebecca Sheddrick and Shannan Kirk! Thank you all for everything you do without yall I would be a mess and I would feel VERY sorry for my husband! Some of you I have only known for a very short amount of time and Rebecca, I have never even met you but feel so close to you. You listen to me complain, cry, celebrate, gripe, moan, answer my questions, and just listen. THANK YOU!
You are welcome to stop reading at this point everything below this is venting!
Ok so I am so aggravated with some of my family! A few people in particular but I am not going to mention any names, if you know me well enough and arent reading this to be nosey you will know who I am talking about! I am tired of the excuses "I dont want to get close because they might go home", "What if they leave", "I just dont want to see you hurt", "What if..."! WHO CARES! WHY DONT YOU QUIT BEING SELFISH AND THINK ABOUT YOUR CHILD and/or GRANDCHILD! What did you have to go through, were your abused, neglected, tormented, left on the curb, in the car, born with drugs in your system, lost a parent, lost both parents, lost a brother or sister, never had a bed, never had a toy, never had clean clothes, never had clothes, locked in your room, beaten, forgotten. I dont think you have an excuse! I dont even want to tell them our good news because they will say something ignorant like "I didnt want to tell you this because I know it will hurt your feelings but dont get your hopes up!" or "oh cool". Well how about this, dont get your hopes up that I am going to call you and tell you ANYTHING about MY children! You want to know?, why dont YOU ask! Whew, ok! I feel better. Now I understand they didn't sign up for this but do they understand these are my children, as badly as they may want it I am not going to have children. I am extremely confidant that God has/had a plan for the way I will/would be a mom, the way they get here doesn't matter to me and I wouldn't think it would matter to anyone else but I guess it does. I wouldn't have it any other way. I have three amazing children and could not be any luckier! I love them so much and I wish everyone else had the nerve to let themselves love them just half as much as I do, they would be blessed! I understand IF they leave it will hurt, but it wont hurt me as much as their tummies hurt when they were hungry, or they backsides hurt when they were disciplines, or their feelings hurt after being let down time and time again. There is no amount of pain that I wouldn't take to help a child, a helpless, innocent child. But again, I know that we signed up for this not our whole family, nor did we ask for their permission. So with all that being said I do not understand their position on the whole issue but I understand how their can be a difference of opinion. Well thats all I have for now...
I will update on Wednesday night and next Tuesday. Thanks for all the prayers :)
Monday, August 30, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Got News?!
We got some exciting news yesterday (8/10). Jonathans CASA worker called told me she would be coming to visit and that his next permancy hearing is scheduled for September 1st at 1:00 pm! AHHHH!!! We are so excited that it might be over for him in less than one month. I am still very scared and nervous but praying that God's will is what is best for Jonathan and that we will have understanding minds and hearts if it does not turn out the way we think it should.
As for everyone else that we have told they are pretty excited but one person, and I know they just dont want to see us hurt but I am so angry, its the same family member that was not supportive in the beginning and again I dont expect everyone to understand. I signed up for fostering, not my family, not my friends, not my neighbors, me and Jeremy and I shouldnt set expectation for them but I am just going to be honest, my kids are my kids when they come through our door they are no longer labeled as foster kids nor do I want ANYONE to treat them like that! UNDERSTAND?, GOOD! Ok I am done venting now! Thanks for reading!
As for everyone else that we have told they are pretty excited but one person, and I know they just dont want to see us hurt but I am so angry, its the same family member that was not supportive in the beginning and again I dont expect everyone to understand. I signed up for fostering, not my family, not my friends, not my neighbors, me and Jeremy and I shouldnt set expectation for them but I am just going to be honest, my kids are my kids when they come through our door they are no longer labeled as foster kids nor do I want ANYONE to treat them like that! UNDERSTAND?, GOOD! Ok I am done venting now! Thanks for reading!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
5th Month Court Report
We just receieved the "5th Month Court Report" in the mail. Interesting. Christopher and Michaels mom has not completed anything on her plan and CPS can not get in contact with the fathers in the case. Mother admitted to using again but tested negative in a drug test. During a home visit with CASA and the mother she reported that the house was inappropriate for children. The house had animal feces and urine and dishes that had not been washed in quite sometime, it was also very cluttered and dirty. Mom still hasnt gotten a job and/or independant housing and/or reliable transportation. She did not go to the hearing nor did either of the fathers related to the case. We were not able to go the hearing because we had a state inspection with licensing that day. Did I mention we PASSED!! Thats all the update for now. Next month is Jonathans 5th Month hearing.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
August Already!!!
Wow, how time flies. Just wanted to update anyone who actually cares to read our blog! :) WARNING: This entry might sound like I am rambling!
We just had a state inspection done by licensing which I was extremely nervous about but "no concerns noted" on the report!! YEAAHH!! The man that came made the comment that I have really thought alot about. He said "Yall are the youngest foster parents I have ever dealt with, and yalls home looks great!" As bad as I want to brag and boast I am going to try not to. However, he made a very good point. Most of you probably dont know/realize that I am only 22 and my husband is only 24. We are both still going to college and my husband works a full time job, are we tired?, yes. Do we love our life?, absoultely! We are very young and I hope that we are not judged for that reason. I feel like we manage our home, life, church, and family very well. I praise God for that. I am so thankful that God put my husband and I together because He knew that we would make a great team. I am so thankful for my husband and I feel guilty that I dont tell him or show him enough. We are coming up on our 3rd anniversary next week but it feels like forever, I dont remember much about life without him. November will mark the beginning of the dreaded 7 year "itch" but I am so excited to be one year farther in our relationship! We began dating in November of 2003 for those of you who didnt know! :) (Yes, I was 15)
Now for what you came to read: THE BOYS!
All 3 boys are doing great and we are waiting to add another addition to the family. Yes we might sound crazy but we are soooo excited. One of the bio moms from our children is pregnant and she is due in November. We are kinda stuck because we dont know if we should hold out until November *if* the new baby is placed into care if or if we should take another child before then! We are not really interested in having FIVE!!! haha! Reguardless we are waiting for either another placement or until November.
Christopher and Michael:
They have only had the 2 visits that were in June and their bio mom has been a "no-call no-show" every Friday since then. Their caseworker (CW) has cancelled the visits on my end but the bio mom doesnt know that, so if she was to show up at the CPS office me and the boys would go meet her there, BUT she hasnt came and has not expressed any interested in keeping a realtionship with them. Christopher is 9 months old now and we have had him more of his life than his mom. There was a court hearing on Monday, which lasted about 30 seconds and CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) expressed how great the boys are doing and how she has major concerns with them returning home. None of the parents went to the hearing, which isnt a very good sign. Michael is doing great and we are about to start speech therapy, that I think will help alot. He talks all the time and Jeremy and I can understand him but no one else can, he will learn how to articulate his words more clearly and hopefully learn how to use and control his tongue. (no pun intended) Christopher is rolling over, sitting up and standing with something to hold on too. I think he will be walking before he crawls, if he crawls!
Jonathan:
He is doing great! He is registered to start school and he is very excited to be going to "big boy" school. He is also going to start soccer next month! He asked me everyday if he can go play with his team. I hope he likes it when he actually starts playing as much as he likes talking about. Jonathans mom has come to one visit in early June. She will call and set them up frequently but has not followed through with attending the visit. (Another good thing for us and him) He got to fly to Colorado with me in July and loved it. When we boarded the plane, he yells "MOMMY, DID YOU BRING THE BULLETS SO WE CAN SHOOT THE BAD GUYS", I was so nervous we were about to be stuck in the airport and booted from the plane but I guess no one important heard, thank goodness! I have no idea where he comes up with stuff like that but its the imagination of a 4 year old I suppose. He also had a birthday in July and after both birthday parties he manage to get about 50 presents all together! I think he had a pretty good birthday!
Thats about all for now, I am going to try and post the video and if it doesnt work I will post some pictures instead!
Thanks for reading! :)
We just had a state inspection done by licensing which I was extremely nervous about but "no concerns noted" on the report!! YEAAHH!! The man that came made the comment that I have really thought alot about. He said "Yall are the youngest foster parents I have ever dealt with, and yalls home looks great!" As bad as I want to brag and boast I am going to try not to. However, he made a very good point. Most of you probably dont know/realize that I am only 22 and my husband is only 24. We are both still going to college and my husband works a full time job, are we tired?, yes. Do we love our life?, absoultely! We are very young and I hope that we are not judged for that reason. I feel like we manage our home, life, church, and family very well. I praise God for that. I am so thankful that God put my husband and I together because He knew that we would make a great team. I am so thankful for my husband and I feel guilty that I dont tell him or show him enough. We are coming up on our 3rd anniversary next week but it feels like forever, I dont remember much about life without him. November will mark the beginning of the dreaded 7 year "itch" but I am so excited to be one year farther in our relationship! We began dating in November of 2003 for those of you who didnt know! :) (Yes, I was 15)
Now for what you came to read: THE BOYS!
All 3 boys are doing great and we are waiting to add another addition to the family. Yes we might sound crazy but we are soooo excited. One of the bio moms from our children is pregnant and she is due in November. We are kinda stuck because we dont know if we should hold out until November *if* the new baby is placed into care if or if we should take another child before then! We are not really interested in having FIVE!!! haha! Reguardless we are waiting for either another placement or until November.
Christopher and Michael:
They have only had the 2 visits that were in June and their bio mom has been a "no-call no-show" every Friday since then. Their caseworker (CW) has cancelled the visits on my end but the bio mom doesnt know that, so if she was to show up at the CPS office me and the boys would go meet her there, BUT she hasnt came and has not expressed any interested in keeping a realtionship with them. Christopher is 9 months old now and we have had him more of his life than his mom. There was a court hearing on Monday, which lasted about 30 seconds and CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) expressed how great the boys are doing and how she has major concerns with them returning home. None of the parents went to the hearing, which isnt a very good sign. Michael is doing great and we are about to start speech therapy, that I think will help alot. He talks all the time and Jeremy and I can understand him but no one else can, he will learn how to articulate his words more clearly and hopefully learn how to use and control his tongue. (no pun intended) Christopher is rolling over, sitting up and standing with something to hold on too. I think he will be walking before he crawls, if he crawls!
Jonathan:
He is doing great! He is registered to start school and he is very excited to be going to "big boy" school. He is also going to start soccer next month! He asked me everyday if he can go play with his team. I hope he likes it when he actually starts playing as much as he likes talking about. Jonathans mom has come to one visit in early June. She will call and set them up frequently but has not followed through with attending the visit. (Another good thing for us and him) He got to fly to Colorado with me in July and loved it. When we boarded the plane, he yells "MOMMY, DID YOU BRING THE BULLETS SO WE CAN SHOOT THE BAD GUYS", I was so nervous we were about to be stuck in the airport and booted from the plane but I guess no one important heard, thank goodness! I have no idea where he comes up with stuff like that but its the imagination of a 4 year old I suppose. He also had a birthday in July and after both birthday parties he manage to get about 50 presents all together! I think he had a pretty good birthday!
Thats about all for now, I am going to try and post the video and if it doesnt work I will post some pictures instead!
Thanks for reading! :)
I was reading one of my cousins blog today and she made a very interesting point. She was watching some "expert" on TV and she said instead of saying "I dont have time" you should say "Its not a priority". If that rubs you the wrong way then maybe you should reprioritize whats important to you.
For instance:
Your child says "Mommy, can you read this book to me?"
You say "I dont have time right now" -replace that with "Its not a priority"
-think about it. Reprioritize?
She also brought up an interesting point. Do this with money? Just a thought to ponder on. Thought it was pretty smart so I wanted to share! Thanks Meghan!
For instance:
Your child says "Mommy, can you read this book to me?"
You say "I dont have time right now" -replace that with "Its not a priority"
-think about it. Reprioritize?
She also brought up an interesting point. Do this with money? Just a thought to ponder on. Thought it was pretty smart so I wanted to share! Thanks Meghan!
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