Why would you ask THAT question?

Christmas and I have a love hate relationship, its true, I hate Christmas. I hate the expectation of gifts. I hate the "want" list. I hate the disappointment. I hate the stress of buying the perfect gift. I hate the commercialized idea of what Christmas has become. I love Christmas, too. I love being with family. I love the treats and sweets. I love seeing the look on my kids faces when they wake up Christmas morning. I love our traditional 6 am breakfast on Christmas eve. I love that everyone makes it a priority to be together at some point during one day. I love the pictures. I love the memories.

If I have heard it once I have heard it a thousand times--

What do you want Santa to bring you?  

Why, why ask that question? Are you going to go out and buy whatever the newest latest most expensive toy is? No, your not and now my kids will be disappointed because they have told 78 different people what they want Santa to bring them! And newsflash, we have 6 kids and they will NOT all be getting Beats, Ipads, Xbox One's, BMX bikes and four wheelers! What about that kid who's parents don't have ANY money for Christmas and they won't get anything at all. Or what about that child that will only get what is donated to them..an Ipad doesn't quite compare to some hot wheels cars donated by a local charity. 

Next time, why don't you ask "How are you going to celebrate Christmas?" or "Are you going to visit your family?" or "What's a nice thing you can do for someone during your Christmas break?" Why does it always have to be about Santa?! 

With 10 days left before Christmas we are going to sit down with our kids, like we always do and talk to them about being grateful for what they get, not having a "want" list, and reminding them of the children that don't get any presents. We collect gifts for foster kids and they usually help deliver them every year so they know first hand that there really are kids that don't get anything and this isn't something we just say.

I want my children to grow up knowing the real meaning of Christmas and knowing that there are far more important things than getting the newest latest toy on the market. Don't get me wrong my kiddos get lots of gifts for Christmas (they have 14 living grandparents, if that tells you anything) and we all appreciate their gifts and generosity very much, but we want our kids to value the time they spend with them as much as the presents. And fortunately for us all our family has the same values, so its not a battle within our own family, just the rest of the world. 

What are you going to do for someone else this holiday season? Remember the reason for the season is our Lord Jesus Christ! Celebrate His birth, His life and His sacrifice so that we may live forever.

Merry Christmas from The Kirks'! 

Parenting 101

Whew! Made it through football season now on to basketball season. Jeremy is coaching JV Boys in Haskell. This wasn't the plan. The plan was to have an off season between football and baseball. I think Finn and Jeremy might have gotten together and made a plan. If Finn played I didn't care if Jeremy coached. Finn agreed to play. Jeremy agrees to coaches. Finn quits. Jeremy still coaches! Seems a little fishy, but its all good! I love watching the boys play and it gives us another chance to build bonds with the boys before baseball season. Plus he would be there anyway cheering them on and lets be real, he's a lot louder when he is sitting beside me! 

So back to parenting. UGH! Where is the manual? When you get done with it can you pass it on to me so that I can read through it...wait, read?! Who has time for that? Anyways, there's been lots of emotions going through the Kirk house this week and I am going to blame some of it on stress. Shattered my phone (that parts ok its all the info in the phone I lost that sickens me, doctor appointments, doctors contact info, important notes, pictures, etc), sick baby [normal sick], bullying incident at school , wrecked car, and a few communication problems will make for a really hard week!

I have learned [well I am working on it] to stop, breath, relax, and enjoy my kids amongst the craziness of life. There will be great days, loving day, horrible days, hateful days, short days and long days but every day is a day we cant get back. Why did it take me so long to learn that? Oh wait, probably because I haven't read the manual. I knew this all along, I know we cant travel back in time, wouldn't that be nice, but I took advantage of time with my boys. It took a 16 year old kid to teach me this lesson, weather he knows it or not he did. I want my boys to remember the time I spent with them but I have to spend time with them before they can remember it. If you have read my blog much you know that their happiness is the most important thing to me and will always be.

Why are we [moms] so hard on ourselves? We've all been there. Are they happy? Are they sad? You've skipped homework too and sent them to bed without a bath on a late night. You've had a miscommunication on the  most important topic in their life, the paper turkey, or the "girlfriend", or the M&M's that were just for him and no one else.

Or the big one: You've forgotten to tell them you love them before they head to the bus stop and you worry all day if they know. They do.

The 4 minutes and 35 seconds you sat  with them while they scarfed down the pancakes you got up early to cook them said it for you. Even if they didn't say thank you.

Your not a horrible mom when your child's teacher ask you where their coat is. There goes your nomination for "Mom of the Year", that's what your thinking right? WRONG! The teacher doesn't know what happened the night before when said child refused to look for their coat while you prepared dinner, fixed lunches for the  next day, did dishes, started laundry, did other child's homework, cut flash cards out, chased the dogs down the street because they got out for the 239th time...today, administered medicine to the sick ones, oh yeah and you had to go to the bathroom, the bathroom oh the bathroom that is flooded because your toddler just filled up the biggest cup they could find and drained the bathtub that you forgot to drain from 10 am this morning when you were giving baths) onto the floor cup by cup. Breath, momma. You just taught your child a few valuable lessons. Forget the text that seemed like she was pointing at the most neglectful parent in the whole school. Trust me your child wasn't the only cold one!

So in the manual I don't have time to read I am learning that the most expensive thing you can buy your child is time. Stop. Hold them. Love them. The day will be gone tomorrow and you can't get it back.

Getting back in the game!

Well now that everything is official I am the newest exchange coordinator for Share! Southwest, our exchange organization! I am so excited about this new journey. We are unsure if we will host again (just because I don't think we could get a better student then Finn) but we will definitely not even consider it until Finn goes back home. We will cherish every moment with him while he is here!

So what will I do exactly?

I will be recruiting host families for our partner organization and welcoming our exchange students, settling them into their new home in America and following up with the student and host family throughout the year! I will get to work from home and kind of make my own schedule which will be nice. Our area manager is in DFW area so it will be a lot of communication through email and over the phone.

Why did I decide to do this?

Well I think that's kinda obvious! I want EVERY one to get to experience what we have experienced this year so far. It is life changing. I also am a part of on Exchange Student Facebook group (the let the mom in, can you believe it!?), anyways, on any give day I will have 2-3 exchange students message me asking for help, advice, how to approach a subject, questions about American culture, etc., I just love helping these students out! My personal Facebook page is slowly becoming everything BUT English, and I love it! :)

So if you are interested in becoming host parents feel free to message, call, email, text, whatever and I can explain more, although you may not get a student as AWESOME as Finn! Just kidding [kinda] there are many many good students! We have 8 students waiting to come to America in January, boys and girls and from Australia, Germany, and Italy. If you would like to see their profiles and are interested please contact me for more information.

Stay tuned for the FAQ's about hosting!

Mkirk.bigcountrysharesouthwest@gmail.com

What is Home?

(before I start, I just want to say thanks for reading...its crazy that people all over the world have seen a small glimpse inside our lives through this blog! so THANK YOU!)

Home. Church home. Home plate. Home sweet Home. Mi Casa Su Casa. Away from home. Always at home. Stay at Home Mom. Where is home?

Where is home? Where is our home? As a coaches family home isn't just where you live, its not the place you come to sleep, shower or eat, its not the 4 walls and a roof, and its definitely not where your coaching at the time, or is it? Is Haskell our home? Is Haskell Church of Christ our "home" church". Is Weinert our hometown? Will we raise our kids to call this our home? So many questions that only time will tell but in our hearts its confusing [and comforting].

Many times over the last couple of months we have said we are so glad to be here. We know that the Lord has moved us here for a reason. We are safe. We are encouraged. We are loved. We are accepted. We are happy. We are home. Most coaches move so often that their kids don't really have a place to call home. We are praying that our kids can call Haskell home.

A huge part of our lives is in church. We have tried so many in Haskell and in the area. Nothing will compare to Cornerstone in Stephenville and oh how we miss that church, Pastor Ed, my spiritual sisters and brothers, and so much more. We are open to trying most churches except the Church of Christ. We have a [personal] history there, nothing against Haskell C of C. We were raised Baptist, attended non denominational and Assembly of God, Cowboy churches and many others but I was NOT going to step foot into a Church of Christ.

Sunday was our second Sunday at Haskell Church of Christ.

We were safe. We were encouraged. We were loved. We were accepted. We were happy. Were we home?

I am reminded of Matthew 18:20, the church is not about the name on the building but the people in and who they worship. 1 Corinthians 1:9. Most church practices are were developed from people of the world, people opinions or interpretations of the Word. I know that if I confess my sins, proclaim that Jesus is the Lord and Savior of my heart that I will be forgiven and live eternally with the Lord. Does it matter if have communion every Sunday or twice a year? Does it matter if we have a full band or sing accapella, does it matter if we kneel, sit or stand, if we raise our hands? I don't have the answers but I am looking forward to finding them. 1 Thesselonians 5:22 says examine things carefully. We have we have learned that many of the people attending the C of C are living The Word daily, equipping the saints for works of service. [Ephesians 4:12]

Sometimes I think to myself this is all to good to be true and it is bound to come crashing down at any moment but now I choose to speak life. I am grateful. God has blessed us.

I pray we are home.

Exchange.

(written- 10/14)

Did we make a horrible decision?

It all started from an online garage sale Facebook page. We had always talked about hosting but thought we weren't rich enough, good enough, old enough, had enough time etc, etc. Hosting intrigued us. I think I will send an email inquiring about it. Reassurance was given, answers came, and profiles of student applications arrived in my inbox just days later. We started reading through them, we prayed a lot, fought over which one to pick, prayed some more, and fought some more, with the pressure from our coordinator building to make a final decision I agreed to let Jeremy's first choice be our selection!

Finn Goette.

We weren't allowed to contact him until he had been notified that we selected him. Finally after a few days [what felt like forever] we got a message on Facebook from him!! I yelled for Jeremy and we read the first of what would be 100's of messages back and forth, countless sleepless nights, we cheered on our countries for the World Cup and so many worries about making things perfect for him all before we would even meet him face to face in the USA.

...10 weeks later...August 19th, we were anxious, nervous, scared, very happy, excited, every emotion you could think of. Friends and family were texting asking what time he would be here. We were following his flight via the airlines app. I hurried and got all of our errands ran, posters made, all our red white and blue on and then...

A 1-800 number called....I hesitantly answer, "Hello?" from the other end, "This is Judy with United Airways, we have Finn here and he has missed his flight to DFW from Houston."

PANIC!!!! Breathe, try to keep calm! This 16 year old boy who is now by responsibility is alone in one of the biggest airports in America. He had been up for almost a full day, barely could speak English, 6 hours away from us and there was nothing I could do. After a million phone calls, a few hours and 400+ miles of driving we finally got to pick him up in a McDonalds parking lot around midnight on August 20th. We made it home after some awkward car conversations, a stop in Abilene to pick up his luggage and a drink at McDonalds!

The Next Day...actually later that day, would be the first of many heartbreaking moments for me while we all adjusted to each other. Driving to dinner I look in the back seat and see the brave kid that is 4,000 miles away from home wiping tears from his eyes. Pure exhaustion and reality has set in. And again, nothing I could do. We went to dinner at Comancho and Charlies and I am pretty sure he had a hamburger (that's all he ate the first few days!) He had a physical for sports, unpacked his suitcase and observed the American way of our busy, hectic life.

Eight weeks down, and I am not reminding myself how many we have left. Wow, our life has been changed forever in just 8 short weeks. We have cared for many children in our life. We have had to return 17 foster children to their parents in the foster care system, it was heart breaking BUT when Finn has to go home it will be more painful than any return we have been through.

Our exchange student is the BEST! He is so grateful, he has taught me to be grateful for what I have or what I receive. I will be forever thankful for the lessons this 16 year old has already taught me. When raising kiddos you often hear the phrase "Cherish these moments!" I thought I was cherishing my children's childhood until you really only get one chance at everything. Finn will only have ONE 1st football game, ONE FCA retreat, ONE bonfire, ONE district cross country meet, there won't be another chance next year. He has taught us to live life to the fullest. These 10 months will be over [WAY] to soon. The point is we are not guaranteed another year, month, even a day. Living everyday knowing that this is my one and only time to watch, cheer on, encourage, hug, tell my child I love them or just be with them makes me treasure my time with them so much more. I do not know if I would have ever realized this had God orchestrated our exchange experience.

It gets harder. This part makes me angry and frustrated, I don't like being helpless. I have learned I worry way more than I probably should and I love unconditionally. Homesickness. It is completely normal and expected about 2 months into an exchange and we were taught how to deal with it. What no one could have prepared me for was the pain of having this teenage boy sad, hurting, crying in my arms, and missing his parents and once more, nothing I could do about it. Its a mom's job to "fix" their child's problems and after just 8 weeks, we consider Finn one of our boys. I wish I could take his sadness away but I am so glad he is comfortable and confidant enough to share his feelings with us.

On the other side of the world, his parents, Germany, his oma and opa, his brothers, his friends, his soccer team, even his warm bed, yet after all that he chooses to sacrifice for 10 months, he still is happy, funny, loving, he has made so many good friends, gained 4 new little brothers and still remains dedicated to making his time in America the best he can make it. His parents have raised and incredible young man. Most American families wouldn't even consider letting their child go on vacation alone to another country. That's what your thinking right, you don't know how you would do it!? Yeah, me either! I admire Finn's parents so much for allowing him to discover the other side of the world and we will never forget these 10 months, not only Finn but his whole family has changed our lives for the better. We hope that we can meet them one day!

I can honestly say we are the lucky ones! It is very easy to be proud of someone who always tries their best. Obviously he is an athlete. He loves soccer and gave it up knowing that Haskell didn't offer it. Now he is our star kicker on the football team. He is running his way to the state cross country meet. He is a straight A student and still manages to have a good attitude [except when he's tired, lets be honest here!], help around the house, an awesome big brother even when they annoy him, a respectful son, and a compassionate friend!

After all that we have been thought so far I know our decision was NOT a horrible one but definitely one of the hardest ones! Choosing to host has been an emotional adventure for our entire family (even the grandparents) Sometimes I look at Finn and Jax snuggled on the couch or all the boys playing outside, or Biscuit dressed up as Finn sporting a number 11 football jersey and I want to hang my head and let the tears fall. There are no words to describe the love and bond the boys share! Sometimes I think "What have I done?, my kids are going to be devastated when Finn has to go back home!" I often remind myself to not be afraid of the risk, for the risk make life worth living and Proverbs 3: 5-6, Do NOT worry!

"Don't be afraid to take an unfamiliar path, sometimes they are the ones that take you to the best places!"

"In the end we only regret the chances we didn't take!"

Here is a small glimpse inside our life, inside jokes, pictures and memories we are making!

• FIIIINNNNNNNN, Where is the silverwear?!  
• We don't normally have frogs in the toilets in America!
• Finn's Fan Club
• 
   First Pep Rally
  
   
• Senior Bonfire 2014
  
   
• Best Friends
  
   
• Cross Country Meets (he has placed at every meet!)
  
   
• FCS Retreat 2014
   
  

 

• Cold football games
• 
   
• Team Finn
  
   
• Teammates
  
   
• Our 1st German Meal (It was delicious!!!)
  
   
• German chocolate is way better than American!
  
   
• Gummy bears are Jaxon drug of choice!
  
   
• Parent Pep Rally
  
   
• Senior Street Paint
  

•  Mount Finn Goette
• Need a compass?
• Want some self made Ranch?
• Dirty diapers are Finn's favorite!

 

 

Our decision was PERFECT!

 

 

 

 

 

If you have every thought about hosting a foreign exchange student please ask any questions. If you have followed my blog long you know I am an open book, I am passionate about what we do with our lives and would love to share more! Finn will be forever a part of our lives and I hope that anyone would take the risk and open your hearts and homes to an exchange student if you have ever even though about it!

 

 

 

 

 

Add another to the roster!

Whew!!! We've survived the first few weeks of school, two a days, Finn's arrival, Welcome to America party, first football game, UIL approval, countless doctor appointments, beginning of the year ARD's, therapy evaluations, and so much more!!

We have had several doctors appointments with Jaxon lately. Recently he had a EDG scope, biopsy and a PH Impedance Study done. What was supposed to be an outpatient procedure ended up being an overnight hospital stay because his O2 levels would not stay up like they should have. We added a pulmonologist to the list of doctors  that he sees and he is working with us to keep Jaxon safe while we wait on the results of the PH study, which will tell us if Jaxon has acid reflux and how severe it is. The biopsy showed severed erosion of the esophagus so we are anticipating the results to show significant acid reflux. We have also been sent to a Neurologist and recently had a CT scan done, the results were normal so we only have to go back there for a 6 month follow up. In the meantime Jaxon takes 4-6 breathing treatments per day, 2 oral medications and all his liquids must be thickened to honey consistency to prevent aspiration. Depending on the results of all the test we will know what the treatment plan looks like, right now we have the possibility of a feeding tube and/or a fundo. A fundo is a procedure that will close the stomach off from allowing food/liquids to be thrown up.  He appears to be happy and not in to much pain and other than throwing up, coughing, and choking there are no other symptoms. He has not thrown up since Wednesday (TWO WHOLE DAYS!!) and we seem to finally have the coughing under control for now. We have to be very careful with liquids and clean air, he cant be around smoke of any kind and even dust bothers him but for the most part he appears to be healthy from the outside looking in.

Jay has been doing GREAT in school, we are so pleased with his behavior and his attitude. He seems to have made friends with the more well behaved students, which is unusual for him, he tends to play with the other at risk students more.

Michael is loving school too, no surprise there. His teacher says that he is very smart. He has adapted well to new friends, new classroom, and the challenges of first grade! He has an amazing teacher that we are so thankful for!

Biscuit, oh Biscuit same ol same ol! Making new friends and girl friends and he loves going to practice with Daddy.

Now for the newest team member, Finn! Wow, it has been so much fun having him around. He is hilarious. He tries everything, hardly complains and seems like he has been part of the family forever. He has jumped right in at school and made good friends. He ran his first cross country meet ever and placed 5th out of 120+ varsity level boys! He will suit up with the Varsity tonight for his first ever American Friday night football game! Jeremy and I are reluctant to consider hosting another student for fear he might not be as eager to live the American way as Finn.

Larry is doing well as far as I know! He has really struggled with the thoughts that we have replaced him. Which is not true at all, he is 21 and its time for him to be an adult. (Which he is!!) He is working full time at the grocery store in Deleon and has an apartment of his own. We are so proud that he is taking responsibility for his own life. Its so hard to let go of your kids knowing that they are going to struggle (like everyone else that moves out on their own) but for his sake I had to let go. I had to stop running to the rescue or protecting him from anything that might teach him a valuable life lesson! Anyways- I am proud of who he is becoming!

Now for Haskell--- I know it sounds cliché but I cant believe how great it is here. We are close to our family, I have made friends, good close girl friends, quicker than I have in any other town we have lived in. Everyone has been more than willing to help with the boys during Jaxon's health problems, the coaches wives are very close, the senior mom's have taken me right in. For the first time Jeremy and I both have friends here before football season is over. The struggles of being a coaches wife have been minimal with all the support. We have lunch with my grandparents on Sundays after church and we have visited almost every church in town searching for the right one for our family. We have visited Jeremy's aunt and uncle in Anson. I get to see my sister often and our friends here are quickly becoming like family!

Here are a few pictures from Finn's welcome to America Party!!!

You think you want answers...

This entry is all about Jax! Most of you know I have been a throw up cleaning machine the last 2 1/2 months. Jaxon has thrown up in restaurant, cars, movie theaters, stores, everywhere you can imagine. We had a swallow study done on August 11th and the results were less than stellar but we got answers as to why he was throwing up EVERY single day for the last 2 1/2 months. Jaxon has been diagnosed with swallow dysfunction. He has aspirated on about 90% of all liquids that has went into his mouth. Liquids have been going directly into Jaxon's lungs for the last 2 months and he has learned how to cough enough to throw up to prevent pneumonia. Two months ago we were admitted into the hospital with pneumonia and we feel like he has had it the entire time that he has been struggling breathing. Jaxon is so resilient, we thank God that he has been able to continue to walk, run and play with the boys like he has been. The doctors were shocked that he is as healthy as he is and not laying in a hospital bed somewhere. The Lord has been watching over him the last few months, so many things could have turned out worse!

So the game plan is to have his regular liquids restricted for the next 6 months. He can only have thick liquids, the consistency of honey. Then we go back in 6 months for another test and hopefully he can have some thinner liquids. Right now its the thickest that in can go and if this does not work we will have to go to other options like IV fluids or feeding tube. He is still coughing quite a bit so we are not sure what the next steps are. We are going to give it until the end of the week and if he is still coughing then we will have to go back to the GI doctor and discuss another plan of action. Prayers appreciated that his lungs will clear on their own, his esophagus will heal and hopefully we will be back to regular liquids within the next 18-24 months.

We are so thankful for a healthy alive baby. It could have ended so bad and we are counting our blessings and grateful we caught it when we did. Thanks in advance and thank you all for praying while we were gone and the weeks leading up to the appointment.

The Why and Bye---Game Changer.

Well now most of you know we have moved to Haskell. If you didn't read the post below!

A lot has been on my heart since leaving Deleon. I have struggled with my relationships with my old friends. I have struggled with the move. I have struggled with the thought of having to find a new church. I have struggled with the fear of being disappointed and I have struggled with the fact that we left Deleon and really didn't tell anyone why or bye. So here goes the why...

We were happy and content and loving Deleon and the new friends we were making. I invested a lot of time into a new organization there, I was finally not going to be the new coaches wife, my kids finally weren't going to be the "new kids" and we FINALLY had a summer vacation...

Back up to March---Jeremy receives an email from an athletic director, whom he didn't know, for a position that he didn't apply for, in a town that we have never considered moving to. Haskell, Texas. He read the email and didn't give a second thought to it, our baseball season was in full swing and he happen to mention it to me in passing. I didn't think anything of it and forgot. A few more weeks go by and Jeremy is contacted again, again we blow it off and kind of laugh about it. Baseball season is almost over, school is wrapping up the last few weeks and were getting even more excited about summer break that we don't have to move!

Now its the end of May, Jay's teacher calls me with a situation that has happened with him and two other girls, while being supervised by the teacher something happened that never should have been allowed to escalate to the point that it did. We approached the teacher, who was asked to leave school immediately, principal and superintendent and she assured us that the correct people would be notified. We trusted her. I felt as if it was my fault some how, even though the teacher is the only one that could have prevented what happened. My heart was broken, I trusted the teacher, principal and superintendent. The teacher is still teaching with no repercussion and the superintendent did not follow through with her promise. Regardless we were going to pray and overcome what happened and continue living in Deleon. Then Jeremy's current athletic director was interviewing at other school and that always scares a coach, you never know who might become your boss at the very last minute....The day our current athletic director interviewed our new athletic director called Jeremy and asked him to come one more time to interview, so he did! We cried and prayed and cried some more, we did NOT want to leave Deleon. We loved our students, athletes and parents there so much. We prayed for clarity, guidance, and specific answers and God answered our prayers! We said goodbye to a few special people in our life the day we left and haven't heard from anyone but them in Deleon since we left. I am sorry to those that we didn't say bye too, it was a hard move, it was selfish, we were broken and hurt and didn't even know what to say to anyone. We felt God moving us and it was completely against our will but we prayed so much that He would make it clear to us and He did!

Fast forward, Jeremy is the new head baseball coach at Haskell ISD. We found a huge house in Weinert, Texas, a very small (pop. 179) community about 8 miles outside of Haskell. The boys love it here. They play from sun up to sun down. I have already made several friends here. The women in Haskell are very close. The kids are good. We are happy. I know that God has a plan for us and we will continue to pray for clarity and that we are following His will. We have tried 3 different churches so far and have found one we really like in Anson.

The boys are loving being close to family. They stayed with my mom last weekend. We have Sunday lunch with my granny and pops every Sunday. Went to church with my aunt and uncle. Had breakfast with my great grandma last week. I can run and see my sister anytime I want/need too! It's so much neat being close to family and I am so grateful for the time we weren't close to them to make me realize how precious it really is to be closer to family.

Just over 2 weeks and Finn will be here! We are so excited as is the rest of Haskell! We are finishing his room this week and maybe I will get around to posting a picture or two. I still have to finish his desk and get something for the wall still. Its hard decorating a teenagers room that you have never met before! He is planning on playing football, cross country and baseball and we will see what else he gets into once he is here and settled in. It so strange having a kid in high school but I am looking forward to it so much. Friday nights are going to be that much better when "our" kid is on the field!

Jeremy started two a days today, tomorrow is my day to fix the coaches lunch! I can tell the coaches wives here have a special bond. We are all choosing a day and fixing our coaches lunch one day each week. Tomorrow they are having BBQ chicken sandwiches and I made some sugar cookies for desert! I think I may send some muffins for breakfast too! I just ordered our wife shirts and every wife ordered one! Its so neat to see the wives so bonded. It is hard being a coaches wife and without the support of the others who are living it, it is that much harder. I am already so grateful for this group of women and the other friends I have met so far. This is the most welcomed we have ever felt. I feel like we have lived here forever already. God has blessed us.

HEALTH UPDATE---Jaxon's test are going to be August 11th at Dallas and hopefully we will get some answers right after the test. We are also testing him for a milk allergy to see if that may be the underlying issue!

I think that's all that's going on now...I am going to try to blog regularly once school gets back in session! If you made it this far...thanks for reading! :)

A New Season

Of course its been a while since I last updated. I always have good intentions and just never follow through with committing time to our blog. Well its that time of year again, some it means summer vacation, relaxing, enjoying soakin in the sunshine--for us it means moving. But this time were going home, back to our old stomping grounds. My family will be 15 miles one direction and Jeremy's will be 15 miles the other direction. (With the exception of our parents but we will be 3 hours closer to them, too!)

Right before we left for Coaches Outreach, where we had a fantastic time meeting some great new friends we got some big news and had to make some BIG decisions!

We are moving to Haskell, Texas, another rural town with the typical small town vibe, county seat, good ole' rodeos and packed stadium for Friday night lights. This move has been a bit different than the others, in a sense that we were NOT looking to leave Deleon. We are so happy here in the smallest friendliest town in the world, but the Lord has other plans. Plans to prosper us, He says! We have prayed and cried and prayed some more and we know without a shadow of a doubt the Lord is moving us from Deleon. At this point in my life I have learned that being a peace in my soul doesn't always mean we will be "happy" about it. Peace is a feeling of contentment, of reassurance that the Lord is right beside you and is guiding every step off the way, He is the light to our path. I am not saying you cant be at peace and happy at the same time because that's what I have always been before, but I think I'll just call this phase growing pains. It hurts, mentally, spiritually, even physically moving boxes hurts. The pain will go away and we will be stronger, happier (again), and we will be with our family. I haven't lived this close to my family, most importantly my sister, since I left for college 8 years ago! I do often think about running to town to have lunch with her, sister mani pedis. Visiting my great grandma in the nursing home, doing her nails and hair, taking her treats. Meeting my grandparents for lunch. Having family birthday parties. Did I mention our gorgeous house, that really just fell in our lap!? As our time in Deleon comes to an end and this chapter closes, its hard to put down the book, I am ready to turn the page to see what else God has for us! Patience is not my strong suit. We will be leaving Deleon July 18th ish and getting our new house on August 15th, so in the meantime we will be floating around semi-homeless. So prayers for patience is appreciated! I have had a lovely group of girl friends that have encouraged me over the last few weeks and has held my hand as I dove into God's word seeking guidance! Thanks Debbie, Jennifer, Caitlin, Christine and Amy!!!

Health is usually the thing I always blog about so it wouldn't feel complete unless I updated you on Jaxon! He will be having some swallow studies and scopes done to figure out if he has acid reflux and/or asthma.. right now its looking like both. We spent some time in the hospital this month for a few very scary days but he is doing much better now! The test will hopefully be completed before we move to Haskell since the hospital is about 4 hours away from our new home!

And the last most exciting news is we are going to be gaining another team member from.....get ready, GERMANY!!!! We are going to be hosting a foreign exchange student. His name is Finn Gotte. He will be 16 when he gets here and hes hoping to be classified as a senior but were not sure on that yet! He is an awesome soccer player and has played against other countries all over the world, unfortunately Haskell does not have soccer at the high school level but he is anxious to play other sports. We got to meet him via Skype yesterday and he is so polite and seems like a great kid. We met one of his brothers and his mom too, they are so sweet and we were all smiles meeting and talking about what we all expect, the weather, different places in US, school, sports he may play and the list goes on. He is anxious about coming to Texas. He wants to better his English and experience America, TEXAS style, maybe even ride a horse! We can't wait to meet Finn in real life, hopefully you will get to meet him too! We're am thinking "Welcome to America" party at the new house!?!?

In the meantime we are headed for vacation with my dad, step mom, brothers and grandparents. I am looking forward to spending a few days just with my boys and my main squeeze. I love being on vacation with them! We leave tomorrow for Ruidoso, NM for some much needed relaxation!

For now that's the big news on the Kirk team (who will be changing their colors and mascot out soon!).

Will this season ever be over?

So I noticed I haven't posted in a while, I never realize how long its been until I log in and notice that months have went by since I have had time to sit down at the computer for a few moments.

Baseball is in full swing around here. The big boys (Varsity) post season fate is in the hands of two other teams and what their records will be at the end of the season. So for now we wait until regular season is over and then we will find out if we get to go to the playoffs. Our baseball parents have been amazing this year, we have some that take pictures for the teams, some work in the concession stand, some keep books, help with the field, some do our sounds system/announcing, some have painted, decorated the field before games, some entertain Jaxon, and we always have a full crowd of supporters, no matter how cold or hot or how far of a drive!! As a coaches wife I don't have any complaints and its safe to say were blessed with a great team and parents and that combo makes for a much happier coach.  As for the little boys (Jay's baseball team, the Outlaws) we have our first game on Saturday. Jay was 2 for 2 at their first scrimmage and is excited about another full season of baseball ahead!

Now for the life of a coaches wife review: its GREAT! Life is good! We will be here another year! This is the first time we have been at one school for more than one year. I cant wait to welcome the new coaches wife in (if there is one) and see what next year has planned, I am so happy about seeing our 8th graders go to high school and to continue to build friendship here. Our boys have formed some lasting relationships and so have we. Its been a long time since we have been somewhere were I have close friends, ones that I can call anytime day or night and been somewhere long enough to know who you can and cant trust. Good solid friendships make life so much easier.

We have had our fair share of doctor appointments, therapy, emergencies, etc this year and someone has ALWAYS stepped up to the plate to help our family out. I will be forever grateful of everyone here. Jay and Jaxon have had some medical issues that we are still trying to work out, I will post below if you are curious about it, but I know if it weren't for this community life the last few months would have been much much harder!

On a happier not we ran in the Fox Trot 1 mile fun run as a family and Michael got to join on his bike. He has always wanted to go with us but never been able to and now that he has his bike, thanks to everyone who donated and a local PT that ordered and assembled the bike, he was able to join us!

Now for Jay--its a long story! About 5 weeks ago we noticed that he had been really tired, he fell asleep on a Monday night like normal and didn't wake up until noon on Wednesday with the exception of a few hours of being awake. We took him to our family doctor and he ran some labs and everything was normal. Fast forward to the next week and he did it again so our family doc sent us to Cook Hospital ER and he had some more lab work done and CT scan and some heart test ran. Everything was normal except his heart rate was unusually low, so we were referred to a pediatric cardiologist at Cook. We went to the cardiologist last week (4 weeks after everything started) and he informed me that the labs from the ER were NOT normal and his thyroid hormones was elevated. Our family doctor didnt run test on his thyroid because its so rare for a child to have a thyroid issue, but of course if its rare, one of my children will probably have it! We will see a pediatric endocrinologist next week on the 22nd to see what the game plan is. In the mean time he takes a lot of naps at home and school and is much more sluggish than usual.

Next on the line up is Jaxon. His physical therapist is concerned with his muscle tone on the right side of his body. We have been in therapy for almost 9 months and he has progressed but a lot slower than most. His slow progression could be from his prematurity, a small brain bleed he had a birth, or just that he is slower than other babies his age. We will see a Neurologist a Cook Children's on Wednesday to rule out an neurological problems (hopefully)!

I am looking forward to summer break, to get our daddy back for a couple of weeks! Coaches Outreach for just Coach and I, our mini vacay next month to Great Wolf Lodge and summer vacation to Ruidoso! Our summer is almost packed and were still 45 days away..but who's counting!?

lost in the outfield.

What's your name? Do you have a purpose in life? Are you lost?


This is a more personal blog, so feel free to skip over it, if you want, it wont hurt my feelings.

Hi, my name is Coach Kirk's wife and I don't work, I just stay at home all day with the kids.

Yeah, yeah I know some of you are thinking being a SAHM (stay at home mom) is hard work and I wont disagree, its tough, really tough, so tough sometimes I get lost in who I am. When people define me I am usually Coach Kirk's wife, or the coach's wife with all the little boys. I am proud of that don't get me wrong, but I have a name, its Meagan, incase you didn't know. I have a passion and its to help those in need. I have a job, its mom, its flexible, its full time, fun, free, and really lonely sometimes. I love being a SAHM. I love being able to go to all the school functions and being readily available but a part of me is missing. The part that use to serve. Served the needy, served the elderly, served the orphans, served the young mothers, served the shut ins, simply served other women. Where in life did I get lost? Was it moving from somewhere where it was easy and all that was facilitated for me? I just showed up and served. Was it when I had a baby and priorities changed. Where? What happened to that part of my life that all the sudden is gone and was/is so important to me. Purposeless. Worthless. Considering going back to work is a huge decision for our family that we are trying to make, the only reason I want to go back to work is so that I can make a difference in someone else's life. I will only go back to work if I can go to work at the school with the boys. I KNOW my purpose is to raise them to be healthy, strong, faithful, children and I am honored that the Lord would give me that responsibility but I want to make a difference in the community where I live and in the people I have relationships with. Jeremy [the coach] job is so important, he is making last effects on tons of students everyday and I am so grateful that I am blessed with such a Godly man that impacts so many in a positive way! People tell me often how he has impacted their children and I feel like I am wasting time sitting at home when I could be making an impact too!

I am in prayer that God will show me the path He wants me to take, weather that be going to work at the school, or going back to school, staying home with my kids, starting a safe place for women to retreat and fellowship, or establishing healthy relationships with a group of local moms for support. So many avenues we can take and yet the Lord knows the perfect path for us.

Just when I thought this season was almost over..

Monday, January 13th we walked into Cook Children's Hospital one year after we were rushed there via ambulance with a tiny 4 pound baby. This time was different.. 22 pound, 27 inch long healthy ONE year old! AHHHH!! I still cant believe he is one already!! Anyways--we were going for his GI 6 month follow up and Dr. Cantu released him from his care! YAY!! He discontinued Jaxon's meds and his high calorie  formula on to regular cows milk. I quietly (ok maybe not quietly) chanted "yeah, we never have to come back and see Dr. Cantu"..oops.. that may have been a bit rude, oh well, I was excited and thrilled that my once 4 pound failure to thrive baby was being discharged from one of his specialist!

Now Thursday January 16th we go in for his one year check up while we were at the doctor I mentioned his last ER visit because of discoloration in his feet, he took a quick listed to his heart and quickly recommended us to a pediatric cardiologist. Hold it together Meagan, slow your own heart down before you have an episode right here in front of the doctor! Breeeeath, its going to be ok. My mind obviously racing with our history of heart problems I am just silently praying that he hasn't inherited any of our lovely hearts! So we leave the doctors off and now...we...wait. Wait for Cook Children's to call and schedules us with yet another specialist. In the meantime Jaxon will also be seeing a Neurologist (same one as Michael's, thank goodness) in March. He has come along way since he started physical therapy but not quiet there yet. Since he was preemie and had a small brain bleed at birth, everyone feels like it would be a good idea to look a little deeper considering the muscle tone problems he has now.