I'm not even sure what to think today.
Jax, Jacob and Bryan and I had a wonderful day, we went and got pizza, movies, ice cream, and laughed and played.
Biscuit and Jeremy are stranded in a bus on the side of the road because their bus broke down. I can't go get them because I have a flat tire. Helpless, I feel. And still waiting on them to return home safely.
Larry is struggling with life changes. Adulting isn't that fun all the time. As much as the mom in me worries I know he will make us proud and come out on top!
Tomorrow is the big day. Will Bryan biological parents relinquish their rights as parents to Bryan. Will he Be ours soon or will there be fight? What is going to happen? Will the girls have a chance at a normal life and a chance to know their brother?
Jacob is the most amazing big brother to the boys. He is so happy all the time, he has no complaints. He helps with Bryan so much and Jaxon absolutely adores him... all day while at school, Jaxon ask for him continuously.
Michael and Jay are doing so well in school. We haven't been blessed with a supportive school as a whole ever and now we have that. Jay is growing up, he is becoming more independent and mature by the day. Michael is taking piano and thriving with it, I hope we have found something for him to succeed with!
I'm a bit overwhelmed with emotions. How did I get to be so lucky! How is that I have 6 boys living in my house that I get to call son {tonight} and they all love each other and they all love me!? Who am I to deserve this life?
I've held Bryan tonight a little tighter and a little longer knowing that tomorrow his future is unknown, it's out of my hands. While Jaxon is playing on PS in Jacobs room. Jacob went out for a run. Michael, Jay and I sat down and had supper together. And everyone is happy. Under our roof they all support each other, weather it's football games, straight A's, adjusting to America, starting a feeding pump, pushing a wheelchair, piano lessons or who has the most kill on COD tonight.
After the boys go to bed, I rock Bryan for a bit, holding his hands and kissing his fingers. Combing through his thick black hair. Staring at his gummy grin that shines so much hope and love. Jaxon climbs up in my lap and I cover him up, looking at his freckles remembering the miracle he is and I turn to look toward the kitchen and there sits a 17 year old boy at the dining room table. I don't know what he's doing, it doesn't matter. A 17 year old boy that was a stranger 6 weeks ago from across the world who has became a helpful, patient big brother and kind, respectful addition to our family! He takes out the trash without being told, grabs the wheelchair from the back anytime we unload the car, he's even learned how to hold a baby, a medically fragile baby at that! Never once has complained about the noise or obnoxiousness of have 5 little brothers! He's eager to participate with our family and we could be happier!
And for Jeremy, he works so hard for us, I don't really understand the work he puts in day in and day out. He's been gone almost 18 hours so far... and he nEver once complains. How did I get so lucky? I know a lot of mean that work 40 hours a week and never once help around the house or with the kids. Not Jeremy, he works 60-80 hours a week and still helps with the laundry or dishes or bedtime routine, he still does practice drop off/pick ups and doesn't miss a football game.
I've struggled with who I am as a person in the past. What is my purpose? Why am I here? All I wanted to be when I grew up was a mom, I never thought "oh I'm going to be a teacher!!" Or had dreams of becoming something. Just a mom. That's all I wanted to be. I am a mom. But not just a mom. I am a mom that is blessed beyond measure. I am a mom that is undeserving of this life I have here. I am a mom of so many. I am a mom of boys. I am a mom of an adult and an infant and many in between. I am a mom, a blessed, lucky, loved, mom.
Thank you boys for making me THAT mom, I love MY team!
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