This post may be all over the place as they usually are. My mind is constantly going from all the kids and husbands activities and I always think we will catch a break when whatever season were in is over but it doesn't stop there..life keeps going and the next season starts. Its a whirlwind life but I do love it, most of the time!
We ended our football season with a 14-13 loss to Goldthwaite who we also lost to in regular season 23-20. It was bitter sweet! Our boys {the football team}were tired and they were ready for a break but how sweet it would've been to beat those Eagles in post season. This was a great season for the Bearcats and our family. Jeremy has developed several really good relationship with some of the seniors this year. There's one in particular that our whole family has bonded with. He loves our boys and we love him. He comes over for dinner and makes him self at home, even though he thinks he's just "eating pizza at Coach's house" he has no idea what a blessing he has been to our family and to our boys! Another bittersweet part of Jeremy's job, we build such bonds with the boys and then they go off and graduate but the sweet part, we will get to do it all again next year! And the senior moms--man I cant even tell you how great they are, from providing meals to the team and coaches to jumping my car in the freezing rain after driving home from the out of town game to feeding my "starving" kids in the stands! The teachers and staff are just as great too! We are truly blessed to be a part of the Deleon community---Jeremy promised we wouldn't leave :)
Our nice clean crisp life gets some pretty mean grass stains and a few holes that have to be patched up ever now and then, right now were working on patching our family up. Jay, our 7 year old, has been attending a partial hospitalization program for mentally unstable children at Cook Children's Hospital. He has struggled all 4 years he has been in school and continues to act out physically. He throws books, flips his desk, wads his paper up, shuts down, pitches fits (hour long fits), picks on other kids, curses at the teachers, well you get the idea. I know your probably thinking that he needs a good "butt whoopin", and had you asked me 4 years ago I would've said the same thing! Ill just save you the time--it doesn't work, neither does taking his favorite toy away, or grounding him, reward good behaviors, or giving him extra privileges, talking to him, explaining your feelings, I promise I have tried it all. We've read books, online articles, even went to conferences and counseling. I wouldn't have spend 3 weeks away from my kids and husband had this not been a last resort. Were slowly starting to figure our what is going on in that young innocent mind of his. He has a team that works with everyday that consist of a teacher, doctor, nurse, and licensed therapist. Hopefully were a day away from discharge and so far the team has determined that Jay is ADHD and has the inability to feel empathy for anyone else. Confusing? Let me break it down--there is a part of our brains that develop between the ages of 0-3 with the help of parent/teacher/adult interaction, Jay's brain did not develop due to his VERY young, as in 14, biological mother's lack of ability/knowledge to appropriately parent him. So what do we do now? We teach him right from wrong in a very black and white, to the point, matter of fact way. Hopefully over time he will learn what is and what is not socially acceptable. We hope to be coming home tomorrow, ARD next week and go back to school with a fresh start in January! Once again the community of Deleon has overwhelmed us with all their help with the boys, prayers, visits, and support! For anyone going through anything similar I would say--
1. Don't blame yourself!
2. Understand your child's brain to the best of your ability. You cant expect a child with diabetes to be able to control their blood sugar without medical help so don't expect your child with ADHD or behavior problems to be about to control their behaviors without medical help.
3. Pray all the time and find a good support system that supports what your doing and that truly know that your doing the best you can!
4. Its ok to admit you don't know what else to do, your not a failure as a parent and unless your a psychiatrist its not your fault you don't know what to do, its normal!
We are so excited to get home and get our Christmas decorations put up and be with our family! I cant wait to have Jaxon's first Christmas this year and celebrate our life as a complete finished family!
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