Put me in coach--we're ready to play!

Well the holiday are over, finally! We traveled almost everyday for 3 straight weeks. Needless to say we were glad to be home and enjoy some quality family time while Jeremy was off work for Christmas break.

Our Christmas was great! We enjoyed spending time with lots of family and friends. We went to Stephenville to see our best friends and stayed there for 3 days. We went bowling with ALL our Stephenville family and made lots of memories! The boys got so many gifts at the nine, YES NINE, Christmas celebrations that we have. One thing I really struggled with over Christmas break was how many presents the boys got, when we got home, we filled up a closet with all their gifts. It really bothered me. We spent over $1000 on gifts for other people. Next year I think we are going to give a gift/donation in the name of the person that I would have normally given a present too. Our family is very fortunate to be able to afford everything they want and need. My kids got so many presents they don't even know what they got. We put everything in a closet and we talked to the boys about giving some of their gifts to new foster kids that come in our home, they seemed to agree, so thats what were doing! What bothers me even more is when kids get so much stuff from just their parents...who needs a Wii, 5+ Xbox games, a cell phone, new shoes, karoke machine and tons of other stuff...there are people that do not have anything, simply because their hardworking parents can not afford the basic necessities much less Christmas presents. What really got to me is that we were able to be a blessing to a family in Menard that only had a sweatshirt to bring her newborn daughter home from the hospital, I gathered supplies from friends and family for the baby and was able to set her up for at least a few months with everything she needed. It takes a village to raise a child. What happened to people helping other people!? I wish people cared more about other people. Next year, we will be doing something different for Christmas next year and focus more on celebrating the real reason for the season and not 100's of gifts.

We were licensed on December 14 to foster again and received a few calls during Christmas break but none of them every lead anywhere. On January 2, we got a call at 4:30 pm for 2 year old twins and their 3 year old sister. At 5:30 pm CPS calls and they were on their way home TO OUR HOUSE!!! Whoa--6 kids under 5, yikes! God knew exactly what he was doing. The three kids that came home, couldn't be more perfect for our family and they are adjusting so well to our family dynamics. They have picked up on using their manners and the boys are getting along really well. they came from a very sad sad background--wish I could share more--but it's their story to tell someday. CPS says this will be a long term placement, so were not sure how what the plan is as of now.

Miley is the oldest and she is 3. She loves shopping, talking, and being girly girl! Jaden is the girl 2 year old twin, she thinks she is the boss. Hayden is the boy 2 year old twin and his sisters do all the talking for him. Enjoy the pictures!

                              

the final buzzer...

I dont even know where to begin with this blog. I cant seem to update my status, which if you know me at all know that I do that often, so I thought (unfourtantly for you) I would come blog.

First, its our 8th "anniversary" (we started dating 8 years ago today) tonight and he decided to go scout an upcoming team tonight with a fellow coach.. and I think he forgot. It wouldnt normally be that big of a deal except on our 4 year wedding annivesary, in August, guess where he was, with the same coach playing golf!

Next, I am feel a bit depressed here in the lonely small town. I cant quite get into the swing of things or soemthing.. I am not real sure. I think I have just about met everyone there is to meet and since theres nothing to do it makes it kinda hard to "hang out". I had several best friends in Stephenville and then we had several couple friends. We were always, cooking out, having game nights, going out to eat with everyone, shopping in Fort Worth, now its me and the boys at home all day, Jeremy goes to work, comes home, bed and then we do it all over again the next day. We have 2 resturants here, a grocery store, school, church, and post office, litterally thats about all. We dont even have a park for me to take the kids too! I would call it the ideal place if you aren't a homebody.

What else, I am still struggling with the fact that we will not be able to concieve and carry a child to full term. Most of the time I am ok with it, my boys are the only things that keep me going, but there are days like today, I just want to give up, crawl in my bed and sleep for days, weeks, months. (Then someone writes on the wall and that dream is quickly over) I feel an empty place in my heart. I feel like I am not invested in anything and that is so hard for me. In Stephenville, I was either volunteering, taken the kids somewhere, organizing an event, doing a fundraiser, doing something at church...here nothing, theres nothing to do other than support Jeremy, which we obviously do. I hope that I can be content again one day, soon. I hope that our last child comes to us in a way so perfectly designed and organized by God that His light will shine through that child.

Next, this kinda goes along with the previous paragraph...Menard, oh Menard, how I dont like thee right now! I have been wearing a smile for the last (almost) 6 months, "loving" Menard. Sometimes I do really love it here, other times I want to move so far away I cant even think straight! Jeremy's boss isnt the nicest of nice guys, well not even close! He treats Jeremy awful and its so hard to sit back and not say anything, to watch his self esteem go down the drain, to hear how he doesnt want to go to work because "he [Jeremy] is the worst f****** coach" (yes said by someone on the coaching staff). Jeremy is a great coach and I cant wait for him to show everyone [coaching staff] what he is worth! I just know my husband is better than to be treated like that!


period.

Been in OT for a month..so it seems!

Well as my previous post stated we were jumping back on the foster parent band wagon. The new agency had not contacted us in almost two months, that sent a red flag up for us, especially since the foster care industry is a 24/7 job.

In the time that we were waiting we found out we were pregnant again, September 12th, a day of mixed emotions. We were pregnant but how would the next 9 months be? Would it end like the time before or would we have a healthy baby in 9 months? We celebrated week 5, then 6, 7, 8, even 9 and then once again our lives stopped right before us once again. We miscarried our second baby on October 20th. I had an inpatient surgery on Monday, October 24th and I am now home recovering. This time has been different, living with the fear of miscarrying our baby for almost 9 weeks was horrible, I was depressed and not happy to be pregnant at all. Please don't get me wrong, we are so extremely hurt, sad, lost, confused about our baby that was made for heaven and not Earth. We have our moments of "losing it" and my husband is right there as soon as I need him. God has blessed me so much by giving me Jeremy! He is so perfect, perfect just for me!

We had planned on still getting our foster licenses even after we found out we were pregnant, (just in case) so we are now on the road to fostering again. I called another agency yesterday that we are familiar with and the were available to meet with us today. We turned alot of our paperwork in and I can not tell you how happy and excited we are. Maybe its part of the healing process for us, maybe not. I do know without a shadow of a doubt we are supposed to be foster and/or adoptive parents. I feel normal again. I feel like I have a purpose and I am fulfilling that purpose. We know we are going to receive criticism and we pray that God will prepare our hearts for that and that we will be able to handle it in a way that is pleasing to God.

Wow that was a full post, hopefully the next post is alot more fun with some Halloween and Biscuits 2nd Birthday pictures!!!