(written- 10/14)
Did we make a horrible decision?
It all started from an online garage sale Facebook page. We had always talked about hosting but thought we weren't rich enough, good enough, old enough, had enough time etc, etc. Hosting intrigued us. I think I will send an email inquiring about it. Reassurance was given, answers came, and profiles of student applications arrived in my inbox just days later. We started reading through them, we prayed a lot, fought over which one to pick, prayed some more, and fought some more, with the pressure from our coordinator building to make a final decision I agreed to let Jeremy's first choice be our selection!
Finn Goette.
We weren't allowed to contact him until he had been notified that we selected him. Finally after a few days [what felt like forever] we got a message on Facebook from him!! I yelled for Jeremy and we read the first of what would be 100's of messages back and forth, countless sleepless nights, we cheered on our countries for the World Cup and so many worries about making things perfect for him all before we would even meet him face to face in the USA.
...10 weeks later...August 19th, we were anxious, nervous, scared, very happy, excited, every emotion you could think of. Friends and family were texting asking what time he would be here. We were following his flight via the airlines app. I hurried and got all of our errands ran, posters made, all our red white and blue on and then...
A 1-800 number called....I hesitantly answer, "Hello?" from the other end, "This is Judy with United Airways, we have Finn here and he has missed his flight to DFW from Houston."
PANIC!!!! Breathe, try to keep calm! This 16 year old boy who is now by responsibility is alone in one of the biggest airports in America. He had been up for almost a full day, barely could speak English, 6 hours away from us and there was nothing I could do. After a million phone calls, a few hours and 400+ miles of driving we finally got to pick him up in a McDonalds parking lot around midnight on August 20th. We made it home after some awkward car conversations, a stop in Abilene to pick up his luggage and a drink at McDonalds!
The Next Day...actually later that day, would be the first of many heartbreaking moments for me while we all adjusted to each other. Driving to dinner I look in the back seat and see the brave kid that is 4,000 miles away from home wiping tears from his eyes. Pure exhaustion and reality has set in. And again, nothing I could do. We went to dinner at Comancho and Charlies and I am pretty sure he had a hamburger (that's all he ate the first few days!) He had a physical for sports, unpacked his suitcase and observed the American way of our busy, hectic life.
Eight weeks down, and I am not reminding myself how many we have left. Wow, our life has been changed forever in just 8 short weeks. We have cared for many children in our life. We have had to return 17 foster children to their parents in the foster care system, it was heart breaking BUT when Finn has to go home it will be more painful than any return we have been through.
Our exchange student is the BEST! He is so grateful, he has taught me to be grateful for what I have or what I receive. I will be forever thankful for the lessons this 16 year old has already taught me. When raising kiddos you often hear the phrase "Cherish these moments!" I thought I was cherishing my children's childhood until you really only get one chance at everything. Finn will only have ONE 1st football game, ONE FCA retreat, ONE bonfire, ONE district cross country meet, there won't be another chance next year. He has taught us to live life to the fullest. These 10 months will be over [WAY] to soon. The point is we are not guaranteed another year, month, even a day. Living everyday knowing that this is my one and only time to watch, cheer on, encourage, hug, tell my child I love them or just be with them makes me treasure my time with them so much more. I do not know if I would have ever realized this had God orchestrated our exchange experience.
It gets harder. This part makes me angry and frustrated, I don't like being helpless. I have learned I worry way more than I probably should and I love unconditionally. Homesickness. It is completely normal and expected about 2 months into an exchange and we were taught how to deal with it. What no one could have prepared me for was the pain of having this teenage boy sad, hurting, crying in my arms, and missing his parents and once more, nothing I could do about it. Its a mom's job to "fix" their child's problems and after just 8 weeks, we consider Finn one of our boys. I wish I could take his sadness away but I am so glad he is comfortable and confidant enough to share his feelings with us.
On the other side of the world, his parents, Germany, his oma and opa, his brothers, his friends, his soccer team, even his warm bed, yet after all that he chooses to sacrifice for 10 months, he still is happy, funny, loving, he has made so many good friends, gained 4 new little brothers and still remains dedicated to making his time in America the best he can make it. His parents have raised and incredible young man. Most American families wouldn't even consider letting their child go on vacation alone to another country. That's what your thinking right, you don't know how you would do it!? Yeah, me either! I admire Finn's parents so much for allowing him to discover the other side of the world and we will never forget these 10 months, not only Finn but his whole family has changed our lives for the better. We hope that we can meet them one day!
I can honestly say we are the lucky ones! It is very easy to be proud of someone who always tries their best. Obviously he is an athlete. He loves soccer and gave it up knowing that Haskell didn't offer it. Now he is our star kicker on the football team. He is running his way to the state cross country meet. He is a straight A student and still manages to have a good attitude [except when he's tired, lets be honest here!], help around the house, an awesome big brother even when they annoy him, a respectful son, and a compassionate friend!
After all that we have been thought so far I know our decision was NOT a horrible one but definitely one of the hardest ones! Choosing to host has been an emotional adventure for our entire family (even the grandparents) Sometimes I look at Finn and Jax snuggled on the couch or all the boys playing outside, or Biscuit dressed up as Finn sporting a number 11 football jersey and I want to hang my head and let the tears fall. There are no words to describe the love and bond the boys share! Sometimes I think "What have I done?, my kids are going to be devastated when Finn has to go back home!" I often remind myself to not be afraid of the risk, for the risk make life worth living and Proverbs 3: 5-6, Do NOT worry!
"Don't be afraid to take an unfamiliar path, sometimes they are the ones that take you to the best places!"
"In the end we only regret the chances we didn't take!"
Here is a small glimpse inside our life, inside jokes, pictures and memories we are making!
FIIIINNNNNNNN, Where is the silverwear?!
We don't normally have frogs in the toilets in America!
Finn's Fan Club
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First Pep Rally
Senior Bonfire 2014
Best Friends
Cross Country Meets (he has placed at every meet!)
FCS Retreat 2014
Cold football games
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Team Finn
Teammates
Our 1st German Meal (It was delicious!!!)
German chocolate is way better than American!
Gummy bears are Jaxon drug of choice!
Parent Pep Rally
Senior Street Paint
Our decision was PERFECT!
If you have every thought about hosting a foreign exchange student please ask any questions. If you have followed my blog long you know I am an open book, I am passionate about what we do with our lives and would love to share more! Finn will be forever a part of our lives and I hope that anyone would take the risk and open your hearts and homes to an exchange student if you have ever even though about it!
