These past 25 days have been a whirlwind—full of change, challenges, and moments that have pushed me to my limits, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It started with finally joining the rest of our family in San Antonio after two long weeks, giving Starla a much-needed break and helping her settle into her new home. But there was no time to catch my breath, as the next four days were a mad dash to attend convocation, teacher orientation, meet the teacher, and somehow unpack both my classroom and our house before the school year kicked off. Thank God for Jeannette, who swooped in to help, moving boxes of pictures on the floor to up to up on the walls making our house feel like a home, complete with pizza and a Dollar Tree scavenger hunt making the madness bearable.
And then, just like that, it was the first day of school. Michael's a junior now, Biscuit's stepping up as a freshman, Jaxon began Junior High as a 6th grader, Jett's in 2nd, and Maddie Jo is officially a kindergartener. Jeremy's new title is head baseball coach and CTE teacher, and I'm juggling my new position teaching EKG and phlebotomy, while also supporting Life Skills students at the Junior High. If you can't tell from the picture my classroom is pretty bare too. I hope to get some more things with time but here is my wishlist if you feel the urge to go shopping! (Meagan's Classroom Wishlist) The start of this school year has been one of the toughest yet, but there have been bright spots—like the family coaching photos, afternoons at the neighborhood pool, fireworks in New Braunfels, and house warming gifts and birthday dinners with Jeremy’s parents.
We've discovered new favorites, like those Cosmc's drinks Jaxon hilariously called "moonshine" (it's "Moonlight," but close enough, right?), and I’ve been surprised by Biscuit’s dedication as the JV quarterback. There were beach days, quality time with Amber and Stephen, and celebrating Hunter’s birthday with swimming and cupcakes. A visit from Jamie, Chris and Hunter couldn't have come at a better time. But then, there was the heaviness of another birthday and Heavenday, remembering sweet Jordan. That weight is something I carry with me, even in the moments of joy and those that remembered with a text, call, card or cookie delivery, thank you. so. much.
Maddie Jo’s surgery was supposed to be routine, just an outpatient thing, but complications turned it into a three-day hospital stay in Fort Worth. Those days were scary and exhausting. Seeing her need oxygen was new and terrifying, but she’s doing better now—still not 100%, but on the mend.
The constant challenges over the last few weeks were enough to break me and it’s in those moments that I find myself shaking my fist at God, asking why He led us here, provided us with a handicap-accessible home, a job that aligns with the kids' schedules, only to let everything feel like it’s crumbling around me. Where are my people? The ones who get my sarcastic humor, who can make me laugh until I cry? Where are my Megan, Casey, Michelle, Stacy, Macy, Jamie, Laci, Kari people, the people that made hard things not so hard? It’s hard to feel happy without people to laugh with. What is my purpose? I'am not fulfilled when I don't know my purpose. Show me God, please!
Every day has been filled with tension, like I’m bracing for the next issue. This blog post doesn't even begin to touch on the struggles. Stress, grief, fatigue—they’ve all frozen me in place, making it hard to even respond to a text. But my sister keeps checking in, nudging me until I finally respond. It’s been a rough road, and when people ask, “How are you doing?” I’m not sure they really want to know. I’m tired of feeling like I’m always complaining, but the struggle is real. And now Jay—who, a year ago, I couldn’t imagine living without—has left for college without a proper goodbye, and it feels like a punch to the gut. I had dreamt of taking him shopping for his dorm, but instead, it was just a Walmart pickup order sent to his new town while I was at Maddie's bedside at Cook Childrens. Everything feels so hard right now.
We’ve started searching for a church and found LifeChurch of SA. It’s close to home, and while it’s smaller and we are hard to miss with our crew, they’ve been so welcoming. Today’s sermon was on The Salt Covenant—God’s promise not to forsake us, even when it feels like the enemy is surrounding us. And believe me, these last 25 days, that’s exactly how it’s felt. The pastor reminded us that all we have to do is cry out to Him, and while I know that in my spirit, my heart has been paralyzed by the trials we’ve been facing. Last night, I woke up over and over, wondering how I can encourage others who are struggling. I can’t fix it, I can’t offer a guaranteed solution, but I can tell you this: You are not alone. And sometimes, that’s enough—especially when, like me, you feel really alone right now.
If you’re feeling surrounded by the enemy, I invite you to take some time and listen to the sermon we heard today here. You can skip the worship and the ending if you want, but I encourage you to listen to the message. It brought me some peace, and I hope it does the same for you.
As we begin week four of this new life in a new place, we’re trying to move forward with hope that the future will be better than the last few weeks. The house is finally unpacked, the garage is cleaned, and the yard is groomed. This weekend I met two special needs parents and was able to share about JPN and provide them with resources and supplies. We’re finding our rhythm with school, and Maddie’s nurse officially starts tomorrow. There’s a sense of settling in, and we have a trip to Morgan’s Wonderland on the horizon—a little something to look forward to. It’s been a challenging start, but we’re hoping that with each new day, things will get a little easier.
I am a sucker for a good worship song to listen to on repeat for our morning commute and currently this is the anthem and after this mornings sermon we will crank it up and cry out to Him, declaring, "I'M BOUT TO HAVE GOOD DAY!"
