"...with the help of a real and loving God."

The past few months have been filled with changes and challenges for all of us. On October 25, I said goodbye to my teaching job, and Maddie Jo's last day of school was October 18. We had to make difficult decisions that disrupted what we once thought was a well-laid plan. 

Teaching is one of the most demanding jobs, and taking on a position as an adjunct instructor through a local community college, in addition to Life Skills aide, was supposed to be a way to balance being present for the kid's at school, supporting my husband’s schedule and utilize my education and skills. I knew it wouldn’t be easy—I’d need to make lesson plans, grade papers over the weekends, meet students after hours—all for just $300 a month stipend attached to a teachers aide pay, which is not near enough. But I believed it would be worth it if it meant being there for my children.

What I didn't anticipate was how quickly the situation would shift. From day one, my character was questioned, I was threatened by a parent and it got to the point where I feared going to school events to support my own family. I lost sleep at night, replaying every word I said in class, worried it could be twisted and used against me. I feared losing my nursing license from exaggerated scenarios. I couldn’t build genuine connections with my students out of fear, nor could I meet their needs as I wanted to, constrained by policies that prioritized uniformity over compassion. I didn’t know the light that I tried so hard to be for others would soon start to dim. Thankfully, I did have a supportive administration and school board and local officers that has fought for justice for many of the staff that have been victimized. 

Maddie Jo’s school experience mirrored mine. In just two months, there were multiple teachers, aids, and private duty nurses, none of whom were equipped, supported or willing to create the consistency she needed. The lack of resources and a caring environment was heartbreaking, and I had to advocate for her endlessly. The weight of it all—the mental and emotional exhaustion—led us to realize that a change was necessary. It wasn’t fair to her, and it wasn’t fair to us as a family.

I gave my two-week notice with no backup plan, placing my faith in God to guide us forward. Medicaid restrictions made it impossible for me to work solely as an aide, given the 40-hour nursing coverage limit and the commute time that ate into those hours. We withdrew Maddie Jo from school the next week and stepped out in faith, trusting God would provide. I am thankful for her last aide and last teacher that truly want the best for their students, it was just to late, too much damage had been done and I had zero trust in the administration at her campus. 

Soon after, I was offered another job at a the neighboring district, and I made sure to be upfront about Maddie Jo’s needs. I insisted she would need to be properly settled into her new classroom before I could start. Despite my clarity and multiple follow-ups, the special education department remained silent. We set a deadline, and when it passed without a response, I rescinded my acceptance. I "quit" a job before even starting because of a lack of support in the special education system. This isn’t just my struggle; many parents face the isolation and disheartening reality of raising a special needs child while balancing work.

The next day, I reached out to our zoned school district, a place where I had previously met with staff who genuinely seemed excited to welcome Maddie Jo. The difference was immediate and heartwarming. On Friday, I dropped off her medical supplies and completed her paperwork. On Monday, Maddie Jo and her new nurse will start together, and I’m hopeful for a brighter experience. Her new nurse is amazing and I think they will be the perfect pair. 

I’ve decided to not return to work full time, like many special needs parents are forced to, and focus on my kids’ medical and educational needs, supporting them and rekindling the light that God placed in me so I can shine for others again. I would love to return to the school district with the boys and Jeremy one day when Maddie Jo's needs can be met and I can go to school without the mental stress. We will continue to support their school, the sports, the programs, the students, the teachers, staff and the administration. 

As a coaching family our "house mood" is pretty dependent on the season we are in. We are now 9 weeks into our football season, which on its own brings its share of stress. The varsity team is currently 1-8. We knew going into this year that we had a young team and that it probably wouldn’t be an undefeated season, but we were excited to watch Biscuit play as the JV quarterback in his freshman year. Unfortunately, his season came to an abrupt end on September 26 when he made a tackle, was stepped on, and broke his hand, which required surgery. Watching him have to sit out and heal has been tough, he’s shown resilience and determination to come back stronger but my heart hurts for him. He should get the pins removed this week and hopefully we will be full healed in time for some basketball. Friday nights are not fun, not to mention navigating multiple non-handicap accessible stadiums that I am not familiar with, but Coach's perseverance doesn't waiver, heading into week 10 and still working 7 days a week to put together the best plan possible for the boys to be successful. Maddie Jo also has a new found love for cheerleading and high school band. 

In the midst of these changes, on October 16, Jay faced his own battles while navigating college life. Trying to find himself in a new environment brought challenges he hadn’t anticipated, and after an incident that could have ended very tragically, he decided to come back home, refocus on his priorities, and start working. We are profoundly grateful for the people God put in his path that day—my dad and step-mom and long time friends, who helped ensure he made it through until I could get from San Antonio to San Angelo. Over the next 63 hours we prayed that he would return to "normal" again and be the Jay that we sent off to college. I prayed a lot over those 3 days between begging God to not make me bury another child and praying that Jay's heart would be softened and know and understand that he we love him more than he will ever know. We are just normal people, doing our best to raise good human beings, and in an instant, we found ourselves not knowing if our child was dead or alive due to choices made in an attempt to fit in, make friends, and escape the stresses of college life as a freshman who had never been to school without us and barely spent the night away from home. I am so thankful that he is alive today. He has a secured a great job and is working on himself to be the best version he can be. 

I share these struggles openly because we are just real people with real battles, facing them with the help of a real and loving God. If one post can reach another mama and make her feel less isolated in her journey, then it’s worth sharing. Satan’s mission is to kill, steal, and destroy, but when two or more gather in prayer, God hears us, and Satan’s plans crumble. He does not have the power to take away or diminish the beautiful life that God has planned for each of us. So, if you find yourself in the midst of hardship, remember that you are not alone, and God’s strength is greater than any challenge we face.

The last four months have taught me that plans may change, but faith and perseverance can guide us through the darkest valleys. If you are in a season of change or struggle, know that you are not alone. Talk to your kids about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, not just once but over and over and over again. Support your children’s teachers, advocate fiercely for your little ones, and trust in God’s timing. He sees the whole picture when we only see fragments.

If you are in the trenches hold on to this promise. I have repeated it multiple times a day to myself the last few weeks: "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Romans 8:28 

Thank you for walking this path with us. Your prayers and support mean everything. 

When you think you’re not enough and God tells you different.

 Life is full of moments when we question if we’re doing enough, or if there’s something bigger out there waiting for us. Recently, I found myself at one of those crossroads. I applied for a job that felt like it could be a great fit—something in a familiar environment, giving me the opportunity to use my skills that I have acquired through my previous career. Although I’m happy in my current role, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I could offer more somewhere else. 

For days, I went back and forth, weighing whether to step out of my comfort zone, in yet another new job or stay put. I prayed a lot, seeking clarity and wisdom. I reached out to friends, and my sister who had been in similar situations, hoping they could help me find peace in whatever decision I made. Finally, I chose to apply, and not long after, I got the call for an interview.

The interview went well. I walked away feeling confident but unsure if this new path was what I truly wanted. Over the next few days, I was constantly wrestling with myself. Should I leave the job I like, where I know I could just be replaced with another person off the street for something that I am familiar with might be a more valued position. 

In the middle of this internal debate, I received a message from my sweet friend Jeanne. It wasn’t just a text—it was a video. As I watched it, tears streamed down my face. She had listened to her instincts and sent this video at the perfect time. It was a reminder of the impact I already make in my current role. Specifically, it brought me back to the time Jordan was in school. So many people had worked hard to make sure that Jordan’s time in school was as special and joyful as it could be. His time with us, though short, left me with memories that will stay with me forever. Jeanne walked with through my last career and after moving is somewhat unaware of what’s going on in my current job, so the fact that the video spoke to her about my previous job and spoke to me about my current job is a testament of God’s timing. 

The message I received through that video made me realize that whoever steps into my role might not understand the weight of what we do. Being a "teacher's aide" may seem small, but to the students with special needs who come through the classroom doors, it can be life-changing. I know that God has placed me here for a reason, and the relationships I’ve built with my students (and teachers her)  are precious. They are the reason I come to work every day, knowing that I can help create moments that matter.

So, today, I sent an email to the interviewer, rescinding my application. The moment I hit send, I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do. I’m incredibly thankful for the guidance that God provided through my sweet friend. It’s a humbling reminder that sometimes, where we are is exactly where we’re supposed to be. And that’s more than enough.

If you want to be blessed watch the video for yourself. 

Be blessed.

Forrest Frank for the WIN!

These past 25 days have been a whirlwind—full of change, challenges, and moments that have pushed me to my limits, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It started with finally joining the rest of our family in San Antonio after two long weeks, giving Starla a much-needed break and helping her settle into her new home. But there was no time to catch my breath, as the next four days were a mad dash to attend convocation, teacher orientation, meet the teacher, and somehow unpack both my classroom and our house before the school year kicked off. Thank God for Jeannette, who swooped in to help, moving boxes of pictures on the floor to up to up on the walls making our house feel like a home, complete with pizza and a Dollar Tree scavenger hunt making the madness bearable.

And then, just like that, it was the first day of school. Michael's a junior now, Biscuit's stepping up as a freshman, Jaxon began Junior High as a 6th grader, Jett's in 2nd, and Maddie Jo is officially a kindergartener. Jeremy's new title is head baseball coach and CTE teacher, and I'm juggling my new position teaching EKG and phlebotomy, while also supporting Life Skills students at the Junior High. If you can't tell from the picture my classroom is pretty bare too. I hope to get some more things with time but here is my wishlist if you feel the urge to go shopping!  (Meagan's Classroom Wishlist) The start of this school year has been one of the toughest yet, but there have been bright spots—like the family coaching photos, afternoons at the neighborhood pool, fireworks in New Braunfels, and house warming gifts and birthday dinners with Jeremy’s parents.

We've discovered new favorites, like those Cosmc's drinks Jaxon hilariously called "moonshine" (it's "Moonlight," but close enough, right?), and I’ve been surprised by Biscuit’s dedication as the JV quarterback. There were beach days, quality time with Amber and Stephen, and celebrating Hunter’s birthday with swimming and cupcakes. A visit from Jamie, Chris and Hunter couldn't have come at a better time. But then, there was the heaviness of another birthday and Heavenday, remembering sweet Jordan. That weight is something I carry with me, even in the moments of joy and those that remembered with a text, call, card or cookie delivery, thank you. so. much. 

Maddie Jo’s surgery was supposed to be routine, just an outpatient thing, but complications turned it into a three-day hospital stay in Fort Worth. Those days were scary and exhausting. Seeing her need oxygen was new and terrifying, but she’s doing better now—still not 100%, but on the mend. 

The constant challenges over the last few weeks were enough to break me and it’s in those moments that I find myself shaking my fist at God, asking why He led us here, provided us with a handicap-accessible home, a job that aligns with the kids' schedules, only to let everything feel like it’s crumbling around me. Where are my people? The ones who get my sarcastic humor, who can make me laugh until I cry? Where are my Megan, Casey, Michelle, Stacy, Macy, Jamie, Laci, Kari people, the people that made hard things not so hard? It’s hard to feel happy without people to laugh with. What is my purpose? I'am not fulfilled when I don't know my purpose. Show me God, please! 

Every day has been filled with tension, like I’m bracing for the next issue. This blog post doesn't even begin to touch on the struggles. Stress, grief, fatigue—they’ve all frozen me in place, making it hard to even respond to a text. But my sister keeps checking in, nudging me until I finally respond. It’s been a rough road, and when people ask, “How are you doing?” I’m not sure they really want to know. I’m tired of feeling like I’m always complaining, but the struggle is real. And now Jay—who, a year ago, I couldn’t imagine living without—has left for college without a proper goodbye, and it feels like a punch to the gut. I had dreamt of taking him shopping for his dorm, but instead, it was just a Walmart pickup order sent to his new town while I was at Maddie's bedside at Cook Childrens. Everything feels so hard right now.

We’ve started searching for a church and found LifeChurch of SA. It’s close to home, and while it’s smaller and we are hard to miss with our crew, they’ve been so welcoming. Today’s sermon was on The Salt Covenant—God’s promise not to forsake us, even when it feels like the enemy is surrounding us. And believe me, these last 25 days, that’s exactly how it’s felt. The pastor reminded us that all we have to do is cry out to Him, and while I know that in my spirit, my heart has been paralyzed by the trials we’ve been facing. Last night, I woke up over and over, wondering how I can encourage others who are struggling. I can’t fix it, I can’t offer a guaranteed solution, but I can tell you this: You are not alone. And sometimes, that’s enough—especially when, like me, you feel really alone right now.

If you’re feeling surrounded by the enemy, I invite you to take some time and listen to the sermon we heard today here. You can skip the worship and the ending if you want, but I encourage you to listen to the message. It brought me some peace, and I hope it does the same for you.

As we begin week four of this new life in a new place, we’re trying to move forward with hope that the future will be better than the last few weeks. The house is finally unpacked, the garage is cleaned, and the yard is groomed. This weekend I met two special needs parents and was able to share about JPN and provide them with resources and supplies. We’re finding our rhythm with school, and Maddie’s nurse officially starts tomorrow. There’s a sense of settling in, and we have a trip to Morgan’s Wonderland on the horizon—a little something to look forward to. It’s been a challenging start, but we’re hoping that with each new day, things will get a little easier. 

I am a sucker for a good worship song to listen to on repeat for our morning commute and currently this is the anthem and after this mornings sermon we will crank it up and cry out to Him, declaring, "I'M BOUT TO HAVE GOOD DAY!"